Saturday, May 30, 2009

Go get dad and tell him I posted something

I'm changing the name of the blog to 'Go get dad and tell him I updated the blog.' Mainly because with Facebook in my life, I don't blog anymore. Its so much more fun to see whats going on with my middle school BFF that I haven't seen or spoken to in over 15 years then to sit down and write about something....or anything me. Or us now I should say, with the permanent addition of the trucker and all the 'half mine' stuff I've acquired. But sadly when I broke the news to mom that I wouldn't be updating the blog anymore she threw down the only card that she knew would take the table....."oh, your dad will be sad to hear that." so hence living in amadaland will now be called go tell dad the blog is updated.

I wont even try to catch you up on the last 3 months. Really there isn't much to tell. Life settled into it's routine, and just flew by. Just like that. Sure the chickens have gotten out a time or two, and I started a workout program that keeps me from being able to use my upper body two times a week, but for the majority of time...nada.

you know how it goes.

So we'll just start back up like we never left off....
This last week, The trucker and I did a little southern colorado tour just for kicks. that's right, we actually took advantage of my 4 days off, plus a bonus Memorial day and headed out the door with all of the dogs in tow. The first morning camping came as a shocker, and I was reminded very quickly that above 9000 ft, it still snows. Good thing my polar bear of a dog kept my legs warm. Atlas made an attempt to sleep on my head in the wee hours of the morning, but wasn't nearly as helpful as he intended.

Ah and there is my husband. Taking his morning shower at the top of Monarch freezing snow runoff water. The video commentary goes something like this......

'I should really check the insurance policy to see if shitting yourself because the waterfall is so cold, and then slipping on a shit covered rock and busting your head open is covered. I wonder if I would be investigated for murder....'

Friday, March 06, 2009


Fiji is the anti Jamaica. With the exception of the 6 ft 4 man jammed into a coach seat for 11 hours on the flight down, and his 5 ft 4 wife in a ball beside him rocking back and forth saying 'please don't be like Jamaica...please don't be like Jamaica' The rest of the trip was absolutely fabulous. Plus we hit the dollar exchange like a winning slot machine, so we made out like bandits! Helicopter rides for everyone!!!

We spent everyday doing something, whether it was snorkeling, or scootering around the island, island hopping in a helicopter or spending a day belly up to the pool bar nursing the 3rd degree sunburn on the back of my was all done with a smile. On a side suntan lotion on the back of your legs after getting into the van and changing snorkeling sites. That and when someone jumps into the pool and causes a wave....odds are you are going to fall off of the swim up bar stool.

These are a few of the billion orchids from the Garden of the sleeping Giants in the rain forest.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

valentine class

The trucker and I discussed recently how this was going to be the first year that I didn't get flowers from my father on valentines day. Considering the truckers rants about store bought flowers and some small town tenth grade girl that broke his heart and he wasted his saved money on flowers for her and it got him NOWHERE (pause for laughter on what THAT must have looked like).....Imagine my surprise last night when I came around the corner at work and found the back of a basket of beautiful flowers and snapdragons.

Now picture my I turn the basket around and find a hot pink thong strung across the front that says BABE in silver glitter. As I'm fumbling with the strings hooked onto the plastic LOVE sticks protruding from the flowers, the panties come unraveled revealing that they are about eight sizes larger then I am. Without missing a beat my coworker Jason(who thankfully was the only other person in my department last night) says....

Yea, sorry I stretched those out before I realized they weren't for me.

Happy Babe Day everyone

Monday, January 19, 2009

You hungry? I'll cook you some eggs

Some of the new additions here in the mountains. And lots of eggs.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

surely there is a special place in hell for me

Yesterday was my least favorite day of the year. Dentist day. Dentist fixing a filling that a previous dentist did on a previous least favorite day of a previous year. Dentists. I just don't like them.

I made my appointment after work on my so called Friday at 8am, this I thought would allow me a sleepy fast dentist appointment. Hum, yea, no. Dr. Dentist (one step away from being a serial killer....pulling teeth for a living and all) somehow managed to tell me about how 70% of people take numbing injections fine, but each persons anatomy is different so there may be some nerves he may hit that I could feel in my tongue or up the side of my face. Then of course since he said it, he did it, and I suddenly felt like I had my tongue in a light socket.

'Yup OK it happened' Satan serial killer said as he looks at me. "And you should know that those nerves will now be numb today and can possibly stay numb for up to six months. Don't be concerned when your right eyelid is a little droopy, that nerve is from your jaw and has been hit too.'

As the violent turrets expletives began to work there way out of my mouth they were immediately stopped my the lack of movement from my tongue. With the exception of a 1 cm section of the front left tip of my tongue, I had NO FEELING of my entire tongue. Panic. How do I swallow. I've forgotten how to swallow. The need to scream at this man is completely bypassed by the fact that I cant.....oh wait, figured it out. Back to the numb tongue-tongue lashing. Two more shots later and twenty minutes of drilling I left there looking like a stroke patient and sounding like a deaf girl. The trucker was immediately summoned to kill the dentist, but in his own defense, could not understand a word I was saying on the phone. The drive-thu pharmacist wasn't much better when he screamed through the microphone for me to


I may not have been able to say it, but the figure gesture did the trick.

By the time the trucker got home he found me passed out on the couch with a combination of tea, ice cream, and water all over my chin and down my sweatshirt, but thankfully, after a four hour nap, my tongue, and my eyelid were back in full working order.

Friday, December 26, 2008

oh pow pow

Even our chickens got a little festive for the Christmas holiday. (note the blue egg)

The snow has been falling for days now. The trucker upgraded the plow to the giant tractor plow. Good thing he likes to push snow so much!

We spent christmas yesterday held up in the house with the fire going strong. Somehow santa still managed to land on the roof (possibly what started the roof slide along with the hurricane winds) and the house was blessed with christmas presants. Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday time off as much as we are!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A little before and after....

Just when you think winter will never get here.....suddenlly your clearence on the vw isnt enough to get you out of the driveway. Times like this make me miss Winter Park.....or maybe just immediate access to a ski mountain..

The instant snowfall has granted me personal escort to and from work. As we drove in last night, it was a game to count how many cars were in the ditch. It wasnt until an ambulance was spotted in the ditch that I knew it was going to be a long night.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

my apron is malfunctioning

You know and I Amandaland, if you wear an apron and step into the kitchen, you have the superpowers of top chefs.

So I take down the apron from the tooth hook of the boar head, and start on the masterpiece that was to be the truckers birthday dinner. In my own defense, I was sleep deprived from the previous nights graveyard shift, and in a time crunch to make dinner and bake a cake before I had to go back to the hospital.

The recipe is simple and one from the "BAM" himself.

Raw Shrimp
Emrils essence spice (sprinkled over the cooking shrimp)
1 clove chopped garlic
2 tbs olive oil

Cook shrimp with above, as the shrimp pinkens add....

1 cup white wine
1/2 cup lemon juice

Pile on top cooked pasta, s&p toss and serve hot.

smelling soooo good, I'm thinking


Until we sit and the trucker takes a big bite and....CRUNCH....I forgot to peel the shrimp. son of a ......... peeling cooked shrimp that is smothered in sauce while singing happy birthday to your husband.....priceless

But wait, the cake! The beautiful black forest cake that your family will attest to the fact that you called them to find out what the hell was....


I was out of confectioners sugar. so I substituted with real sugar.....which is not an acceptable substitution despite what that stupid website said. There is no thickening agent in it, and If there was video you would see that the cake frosting moved like the blob...


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Celebrating Amandaland

Killing time before work tonight came across this photo of Keva at my bachelorhood party. The true humor lies at the trail head where Keva stood with my banner...waiting other people arrived at the trail.....and in a turn of much confusion, another Amanda arrived.

Other Amanda who we don't know: "Is that for me?"

Keva: ""

Other Amanda who we don't know: "Oh, because I'm Amanda...and it's my birthday"

Keva: Weird. Want me to take your picture with the sign?

The rest of the morning had some confusion with the other Amanda hiking party. Which is a lesson to us all...

Travel with a flag.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

It was a tight squeeze, but everyone insisted on going into the woods to find the Christmas tree. You'll notice there that Teva can see out the window if she sits on Jake's lumbar spine.

So into the Rifle wilderness we go. There has been such little snow here, that it was pretty easy to get in and out. We were a little off on how BIG the tree was. So after the fourth trimming....we got it squeezed in.

Lets call it in progress. Going to buy Christmas decorations is a little overwhelming. Plus we are a fairly non-traditional home, so an angel just didn't cut it. Unfortunately the Nome made the tree too top heavy and that idea was held off until more duct tape could be purchased....

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

turkey lurky dooo

Well we are off to go spend thanksgiving in denver!! In an attempt not to cook and trash the house, we are planning to go elsewhere and trashing someone elses!

With all the dogs in we gooooooo!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Because we can

At wal-mart yesterday, I came across a rescue dog shirt perfect to accesorise the basset hound. It was a tight squeeze, but he managed to suck it in.

Friday, November 07, 2008


Catching a loose chicken is a two person job. Anything less and your not 'catching' a chicken your 'chasing' a chicken around a chicken coop.

In a circle.

For thirty minutes.

FYI #2. The idea, I'll get a dog, is a poor idea. Dogs do not make good back up in chicken catching. 'chasing the chicken' now becomes 'trying to save the chicken life'

Chicken 1, Amanda 0, Atlas 4

Thursday, November 06, 2008

did you pack tom?

I'll work with the crappy on and off internet only because I know my sister is bored out of her mind right now. It is my duty then to give her a funny story, but first lets set the scene:

I'm at work, which is now the graveyard shift on the weekends. Lots of interesting characters. Including a few that I work with. Come around one am, what is left of the skeleton crew staggers around the hospital in search of candy and conversation. I, normally have both, and in comes a new face for me, Fire red from the lab. I call her fire red from the lab because she has dyed fire red hair and she works in the lab. White coat and all with the square black glasses, in her late 40's is my quess. Now I keep it fairly dark in my department at night, I find it easier for the drunks and they in return seem to be less combative, but even with the lessened light, Fire red from the lab is sheer brightness. I'll be honest, she catches me mid boggie session in an attempt to stay awake. Full power walk she comes through the automatic doors looking for someone else I had never heard of. Trying to take the attention off of my sweet dance moves I offer her a hot tamale. She accepts and eyeballs my south africa book and the following conversation occurs.

"are you really going to africa?"

yes. In June


yes. I even comitted to buying the travel guide.

"can I ask what may be a weird favor?"

um. sure.

"will you take some of tom with you? I have bagged up his ashes in different bags so that he can travel all over."

(wow total shock, it clicks here that the company email about a spouse dying must have been Fire red from the labs husband)

um, isnt that maybe something that you want to do?

"not africa. I'll never make it there, no desire, but Tom really wanted to go" she continues while downing the box of red hots looking me dead in the eye the whole time. "just sprinkle him somewhere cool and thats that."

thats that. I dont see how I can refuse.

The rest of the night I tried to come up with the funniest way to tell the trucker about this. Around three red flies back in through the hall....

"word in the lab is your going to fiji too"

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Get away from my dead cat!!

So I'm having a very zen moment during my morning yoga when my gaze goes out the window and I am distracted by five very large buzzards dive bombing and landing next to the garage. For a moment I think nothing, then somewhere in the clarity of the crescent moon pose it hits me. buzzards outside of fence=good. Buzzards landing = something dead. Lance the cat outside of fence living in garage=bad. Buzzards=dead cat. Bad.

This is the course my brain goes.

Warrior two took on a whole new meaning as I fly down the stairs in my zen like outfit and run out the door screaming nooooO! I hit the gate breaking land speed records, climbing up the hill waving my arms screaming 'get away from my dead cat!!!'.

About the time I got to where I thought the dead cat would be, the buzzards were off the ground and now just circling around above. And I cant find the dead cat. But I am still screaming at the buzzards to go away, throwing the occasional rock. As I continue to walk around in the trees, I start to realize....I'm about to see a dead cat. Despite my experience in Anatomy with this, I am finding myself unprepared. So I stop, and take in a few breaths and decide, that I HAVE to find the dead cat. I can not leave his body out here to be pecked at by the buzzards. With a solid 210 heart rate, and watching the buzzards above, I try and stand as still as possible scanning the bumpy juniper tree yard. And then from behind me the crude loud meow of my not really dead cat Lance.

I am not kidding people when I say I jumped a good eleven feet in the air looking like I had just been tazered in the back. And Lance, apparently awaken from his morning siesta by me screaming about a dead cat trotted over from the garage. The next few minutes I spent bent over trying to recover from a heart attack as not dead cat weaved his way through my legs. Stupid cross eyed cat looked up at me and saw the buzzards in the sky and ran back to the garage.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

sticking with it

Compromise. If the boar head stays, then I will decorate it.

The wedding went off without a fire, helicopter, passing out panic attack or any other mad hatter pre wedding dream disaster that I had. There were a few hiccups, and yes my loving sister did start off her toast with ' my sister has had a lot of boyfriends'. Hysterically enough, the wedding video ends with one of my best friends staggering off with her husband discussing their level of inebriation.

oye I love it

but as things wind down, it sure was nice to have seen everyone and had a chance to celebrate such an anticipated day. And the presents sure are a nice touch.

Ill post some pictures when I get them all in. They have been arriving in bits and pieces, and the ones from the actual photographer are still out. Thanks for sticking around!
Until then, keep your pimp hand strong!

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Roundtrip ticket

It's going to be tough trying to get the trucker to stop saying 'eh' all the time, but other then that Canada is a pretty cool place. Which is good, because that's why we went there. Being 102 degrees here = cranky pants, and with a 9 day break from work we headed for the border. Americas cool cousin Canada. Where we proceeded to visit friends we had me once years ago, meet family friends for the first time, and essentially spare bedroom surfed our way around BC.

Having never been, I have to say it was pretty sweet. And the temperatures even drove me to buy a jacket. Canada. You have yet to let me down.

The boats on Victoria Island.

The culture diversity in Vancouver was outrageous. We went to the Islamic festival downtown, and since the sign said, learn about the Islamic culture, and we didn't know about any of it, we went. What a kind group of people so eager to share there culture. At one booth a young man asked if we were married, when I told him 'soon', they got so excited and dressed us up in the traditional wedding attire and took our pictures. The jeans and tennis shoes totally give away the fact that we are soooo american.

The trip took us inland then to do a little sailing with one of my moms childhood friends. This is a must stop for anyone going to BC. Al and JoAnn have a charter sailboat 'The Cats Ass'. I got to drive. Before we left I was using all kinds of sailing jargon. 'Hand over the booty!'

Oh wait, that's pirate talk.

The trip was wrapped up at a small farm on a lake with some snowmobiling friends of the truckers. The trip had barely ended before another began, and we just got home from a second quick trip to see the crew from WP, as Molly and Pete got married. Now for me it's time go go join the crew downstairs, and try to get some rest in before the work week begins.

Monday, June 30, 2008

not as easy as it looks

Mom is on me about being a month behind on blogging. Considering I was gone for 2 weeks and took my national registry this month, I thought I was doing good breathing.

I passed by the way. (and the crowd goes wild)

Meanwhile the trucker and I loaded all the dogs in the burb and drove to the eastish coast to take a little break from it all.
We stayed off the main highways (to throw off the feds of course) and just enjoyed the drive.

It became pieapolooza 2008. I ate pie in each state we went to. The winner you ask? Kentucky. Yum. Runner up, Oklahoma followed by a close third in southern Colorado.

So it's back home and Ive started work, as well as a workout routine to take care of the pie handles. On top of it all planning a wedding is not as easy as the tv shows make it look. I have NO idea what I'm doing and everyone assumes that I do. This is my first wedding folks. I logged onto a wedding website and after registering all of our info a window pops up.....

92 days to go and 231 unchecked 'to do' things.

Oh sweet jesus, giving me a countdown is not doing anything but increasing my heart rate. Which on the plus side has got to be burning some calories.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

How to call AAA

AAA: Hello Miss King, are you in a safe location?

Well the police are here, so I'm going to say yes.

AAA: Ok good, what can we help you with?

I'm going to need a tow.

AAA: Ok, what is the make, model of the vehicle?

79 VW westy

AAA: What color is the vehicle

On fire red

AAA: Can you give a landmark for the tow truck, we are concerned he may not be able to locate you.

Sure, tell him to follow the smoke, when he can see the flames slow down, and if he passes the fire engine, he's gone too far.

AAA: Oh.

Monday, May 26, 2008

I dont even know where to begin

I graduated.

(Id show you a picture but I forgot my camera at home)

My family and I plus the trucker went to the grand canyon.

(and I forgot the camera)but luckily superstar sister photo logged it all

The trucker asked me to marry him during the sunrise over the canyon.

(and superstar sister had a camera)

(I said yes)

Then we came home from family trip USA, and worked all morning on Beck McVanagon. (luckily I have this picture from the archives)

Then, after the fishing poles were loaded in, and one German Shepard later, we made it 12 miles down when the bus caught on fire.

(and luckily despite the fact that we didn't have the camera, some of the people who watched it blow up were nice enough to email me a picture from their camera phones)

So what have you guys been up to?