Friday, June 30, 2006

Holy crap batman.
http://msn.foxsports.com/cycling/story/5732336

Not as earthy as I thought

I'm up this morning in my usual morning attire, cut off sweat pants, tank top, my favorite Totally Wired coffee/bike shop hoodie. Not to be left out is the craziness that we know as my muppet hair, pressed back into a very stylish headband all the while letting the ends poke out like a porcupine ready to fire. My phone rings. It's early, must be mom. Nope. It's the dentist office downstairs. They have someone coming in to spray for the bugs. 'What bugs?'
Oh we have cockroaches downstairs.
Sweet, like I needed to know that.
Before I can even protest pesticide spraying in my house there is a knock on my door. I hang up. Open the door. There is a guy in a Budweiser t-shirt holding a green tank and a metal spray hose. Instantly the King of The Hill song pops in my head.
(I look out to the parking lot....Please let me see a giant roach on the top of a van please! Nah, just a Honda civic with the company logo on the side. Damn)
'This will only take a moment'

"Whoa there big man, hold on. What are you spraying downstairs, is it harmful my dog, and I think I'll pass on it being sprayed in my apartment. I'm against the whole chemicals flying around my apartment thing." (meanwhile my fearless attach dog is wiggling like a jello shooter holding her Eyore doll in her mouth) I look down at her and shake my head, she better be high on the fumes for this kind of behavior.

He looks confused. After all it is 8 am and my coffee intake is peaking and the above sentence came out really fast along with the black woman 'stop' hand held out in front of me. The visual of me and my muppet hair is a total bonus.
(suddenly I'm not the only one on the porch on a coffee buzz.)

'Um, Ok, Where do I even start with this. First, It is not harmful to pets, it's a (blah diddy blah blah ) combination of chemicals. If you are completely against spraying I understand, but I can tell you first hand that if I don't spray the roaches will migrate to the area that has not been protected. Regardless if you have seen them before now. I'm sure you'll be fine living with roaches.

'Ok then, Please come in.'

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Beck McVanagon

Liz nods her head approvingly.

Beck McVanagon



Cookie and I spent this morning getting plates and registration for Beck McVanagon. We even got the Colorado Collectors Plates.










We spent more time sitting under a tree at Sears waiting for the Bus tune up, then we did in line for registration.
At least the view was nice and it wasn't too hot. I had to snap a picture of the Sears guys riding around on the tractors. There were 2 of them racing when I first walked out, but I think I made them nervous taking pictures so the racing came to a halt after the first go time. (the john deer won) I had a lot of time on my hands and thought about test driving one myself, but the racing would just have been too tempting.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Wish You Were Here


I have to admit, since the burning of Pearl, I have been a little gun shy about jumping back into the bus hunt. But who would could have seen the rowdy Scotsman just a few blocks away looking to sell his bus and take his bride to California? Luckily one of the regulars at the brew pub saw it and came to find me. Good call. I owe that sweet lady a beer.

I bought him this morning. (This is a boy bus) He hasn't told me his name yet.

I was so nervous and excited all at once that I made Liz walk over with me. Then it took me about 20 minutes to figure out where reverse was.....Oh I see you have to push DOwn! Gotcha Note how this bus is NOT on fire.

The bus even came with a six pack of beer in the fridge.

Wish you were here!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Something is brewing.......................

Saturday, June 24, 2006



Around 8 o clock it cools off a bit and I've finally started crawling out onto the rooftop to watch the sunset. (I've been saying that I want to do that since February.) I can see into everyone's backyard.....Which means everyone can see into my kitchen. Hum. Knowing that I'll think twice before I dance on the kitchen table.....Again.

It's so bloody hot here that I am debating shaving the dog. Any thoughts on this?



Ninja pup lurks on waters edge. Come closer duckies come closer....

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Oh the tangled web I weave....

Seriously. How is it that you are still single? (a question I heard twice yesterday, once in the shower, and then again in the beer garden at the farmers market)
As I'm holding a drink, hair pulled back in a head band because the muppet look was a little out of control after the heat of the day. A tank top with something spilled down the front of it, hiking shorts, and sock monkey flip flops. ( I laugh at myself, I am dangerously good looking)

'Seriously Amanda'

'How did a conversation go from my psychiatrist to my twisted love life?'

"Well why is it that you will only date men who you know aren't available to be there for you?'

(looking around) "I think that we should roll a couch out here and I should start paying YOU $95 an hour to analyze my craziness"

"The extra money would be nice......"

(a beer glass and a wine glass tap in cheers)

'You could have a different clientele out here each night. Look, there is a drunk girl over there crying, she could be next on the couch.'

'See, she's TOO emotional, as opposed to YOUR fear of being emotionally available. Aren't your feelings hurt?'

'Yea. Thursday nights could be a group session. I could be in the group with her. I bet I have a lot to learn about letting my emotions out from the hiccuping girl who randomly sobs to her gin and tonic'.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Night of Jazz



A day filled with lawyers, anxiety, Dr. Appointments, a new psychiatrist, and an aching hip, promptly was followed by a night amongst the grapevines and a little jazz band. Liz's grandmother (who coincidently holds jedi status) cooked up a storm for 10 of us to feast off of. The vineyard provided the wine. Being the skinniest one there I made off with the leftovers. Sweet. (I'm terribly thin you know.) See Liz and Jedi Grandmother below.....
The jazz was terrific. A little string trio that drove around in a red schoolbus that runs solely on Vegetable oil. Aggghhhh, the sweet smell of french fries....
Looks like things started to get blurry as the night went on. Yes. I know. Double fisting wine at a vineyard.
Thats the kind of classy girl I am. Dont you judge me.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Where am I?


As if the Jeep wasn't ghetto enough

With the back door that doesn't open.....The hatch that doesn't open.....The drivers side window control being the ONLY working control's for the entire car.....The AC/Heat only works when it's on HIGH......... The gold rims......

now we can add a busted up drivers side mirror to the list. For the low LOW price of $66 at the dealership. Damn kids and their baseball bats.

We are soooo ghetto, and apparently live in one too.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

His advice


Don't go snipe hunting in your underwear. (he said)

(I was 9 and on my way to my first summer at 4-H camp.)

I wasn't sure what a snipe was....or why I would be hunting it, but I took his advice very seriously and promised I wouldn't. And I never have.

Looking back on it, that was some great advice.

Happy Fathers day Pop

Friday, June 16, 2006

Searching for enlightenment

After a long day at work, where I was still trying to shake off the funk, I managed to haul my little butt to the bikram yoga class. As I lay on the mat in the 99, soon to be 103 degree room, for some very odd reason......

Instead of enlightenment.....I got a serious case of church giggles.

You know the kind. Something simple sets it off at a completely inappropriate time.

Like I was 10 and looked over in the pew to see Tiffany crossing her eyes, and a WAVE of uncontrollable belly giggles hit me. Not even mom smacking us on the knees telling us 'I will drop you pants right here and now in front of god and everyone if you don't get it under control young lady'. (**that actually would make the giggles worse, envisioning mom spanking Tiff and I, in the middle of the isle, as god himself was turned around, shaking his head in disappointment from the front row**)

Or the outdoor Beaufort wedding where Drew (who was the brother of my date) got me threatened by various family members of his to stop the church giggles. That one was justified. Please. Between the drunk preacher and the dog howling from his forced entrapment under the above ground pool.
The priest said:
'God made Adam..(long pause)..And after a while Adam got lonely, (more long pause followed by a drunken sway) Adam looked around at all of gods creatures finding none of them quite suitable enough as a wife'. My eyes got big and I looked over at Drew looking for support, and right on cue that dog belted out a howl of sure pain.

Come on. Who wouldn't loose it at that?

So back to yoga. I'm in my usual spot in between the freakishly strong 50 year old woman, and the hairy man, whom I'm sure is the missing link.. And there I went. Full blown church giggles between the circus freaks.
Im searching, sweating out pounds of water, positive that enlightenment is bound to be in there somewhere, all the while holding in the church giggles with every position change. Try doing that for 55 minutes. It was great core strengthening.

I guess I must have sweat out The Funk.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

The funk is going around



Well , the weather has cooled off, and I'm still looking for any excuse to be a bum. Just in a funk I guess. Maybe it's the disappointment of Pearl catching ablaze....Maybe it's the sinking feeling I got when I mailed off the fathers day box for dad. I'm so far away.
Either way, it was a day spent cleaning and weeding, laundry and dishes, cooking and the Simpsons.
Is calling in 'the funk' to work excusable?

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

A heart rate of 210 and rising





Liz and I were up this morning in another days attempt to get in some outdoor time before the sun exploded into today's high of 103.
Liz was being so hard core about what I thought was just going to be a 'nice hike' that the next thing I know, I'm getting dropped.

By the time I caught up, she was taking a break and doing sets of wall push-ups. What up hard core. Meanwhile the dog was chasing a rabbit that I'm sure probably has the plague (we actually do have that here), and got herself on the other side of a rocked out gully. See I didn't need to do the push ups to raise my heart rate....Just put me on the opposite side of a cliff from my dog as she traverses over boulders and drops down, just to be able to climb up to where we were. Poor thing, her little legs were shaking so bad by the time she made it back to us. (my little legs were moving along in time with hers) She drank over half of my camelback..and I thought for a minute that we might have to carry her. She says it was worth it, and next time we'll have rabbit plague soup for dinner to show for it.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Hot bugs


Its hot. Again. Even Eyore has passed out. Oh bother.

I'm finding it hard to get my exercise in. Any exercise, and that's including the 22 steps outside. Imagine trying to muster up the energy to go to a bikram yoga class where the temp in the room is a mere 2 degrees warmer then the outside temperature. Yuck. This morning I did it. (morning class is key, that way it's 10 degrees cooler outside when I leave and I can say 'ah it's nice and cool out here') Then I jump in the Jeep and blast the AC.

On a separate note:

I'm having a bug problem in the garden. Now I'm not even sure where these guys came from considering I'm on the second floor, but they are taking over my peppers. I saw them once, and told them ' If you guys stay on this 1 plant, I'll let you live and you can eat it all you want'. But no. They've gotten greedy. So I went out with Liz today and found organic bug spray. Huuummmm. Do you think that it might just be water? Spray liberally until leaf is dripping and bug is swimming away.................

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Its a sad day in Amandaland


Oh guys I can't even believe it to be true. The mechanic called me last night while I was out with Heather at the lakehouse. He sat down and typed the bus problems and emailed them to me.

Its a very long list, with some very long digits following.

Amanda?

Yea. (trying not to let on that my eyes have welled up and Im sure the crying hickups are seconds away if I speak more then a few bits at a time)

Look honey. I know that you really wanted this to be ok, but I wouldn't feel safe for you to come get this and drive it home without some MAJOR repair. Had you just put the battery in and gone, you wouldn't have noticed when the fuel line busted and the bus caught on fire.

Sweet Jesus the bus caught on fire?

Just for a second. Luckily it was in the shop at the time and we were right there to put it out.

Oh.

Amanda?

Yea.

Have you paid Kevin?

No.

Ok good. I strongly suggest that you pass on this and get out of the sale. Cut your losses before you get 20 minutes down the road from here and the bus dies, the frame falls off and your coasting to a stop because you don't have any brakes.

Yea. Ok. That would be bad. (especially if the bus was on fire at the time)

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

early morning


Since yesterdays high in Grand Junction was 101, and I melted into my couch gasping at the swamp cooler all day, I decided If I was going to get any exercise, it was going to be early. Luckily Erin had the same thought and at 7am, my phone was ringing. Sweet, 82 degrees at 7:30. How on earth am I going to make it through July?

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Yea Baby




Sure. I'm crazy.


Anyone who knows me one bit, knows my true love for VW busses. I love them, they make me smile. I see one, and I wave to it. I walk by one, and I say 'hi bus!'. I'm an idiot, and obviously insane, but I love them. I do. And now.....I bought one on e-bay last night. Amy wrote a fantastic blog about what I put them through last night. http://desperatehousewifelife.blogspot.com




You can't wipe the perma grin off of my face. I've named her Pearl.

I've got to go get her. She's in Idaho. I thought about it last night as I lay in bed, wide awake at 2 am from excitement...... I haven't been this excited since I was little and got my first 'big' horse Annie. Suddenly I felt like I was 10 again.

And then I cried.

Not because I had just bought a bus older then I am. Or the fact that it's probably going to take me a week to get home. AND I'm most likely going to spend that week in and out of tow trucks. No. I cried because I realized how sad I've been for so long. Too long. How much I've let events in my life bring me down. Worry me. Frighten me.

My Pearl....has reminded me of the purity of happiness.

And this is my happiness.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

FUH2

So, I've had this story for a bit (some of you have heard it already from when it happened), but I really felt that a picture was necessary for the full effect to blog it. So here we go.

I'm in the Vitamin Cottage grocery store and there is a very cute man flirting with me every other isle.

After being my fabulous self and shamelessly flirting, in the checkout line as he's paying, he scribbles down his number and hands it to me. You know, since I'm new in town, If I need a dinner date or someone to go the movies with. Ok. He's witty, and bold which is a double bonus, and the tall dark and cuteness hits the trifecta. Even the cashier looks at me after he'd wheeled his cart out the door with raised eyebrows and says 'wow, very cute'. I blush. I can't believe I just pulled that off.

So of course there is going to be a big flaw right?

As I'm carrying out my groceries I look over to see cut patutie over there, loading up his groceries into......you guessed it......a Hummer.

Oh hell no.

Seriously? Are you kidding me? (and of course I'm not) My boldness still alive and kicking, I march right over, set down my groceries behind this monstrosity of a car that is now blocking out the sun, and dig through my pocket taking out his number. With my arm held out dangling the paper I say:

'I need to give this back to you'

What? ..... Why?...... Are you married?

'No. This (pointing) You drive a Hummer. Frankly, knowing that, I can tell you it would never work between us. Honestly. I'm more like a VW bus. Your a Hummer. It's impossible.'

What? Are you crazy?

(damn it how does he know that I'm crazy?) Here. Take your number. (and he finally does) This Hummer (pointing in quick circles wildly at it), represents everything that I'm not.

Seriously?

Yea. (then I turned around, picked up my grocery bags and headed home)

I don't think anyone has ever won the trifecta.