living in amandaland...go get dad and tell him the blog is updated

Go get dad and tell him I posted something

2009-05-30T11:09:00.007-06:00

I'm changing the name of the blog to 'Go get dad and tell him I updated the blog.' Mainly because with Facebook in my life, I don't blog anymore. Its so much more fun to see whats going on with my middle school BFF that I haven't seen or spoken to in over 15 years then to sit down and write about something....or anything me. Or us now I should say, with the permanent addition of the trucker and all the 'half mine' stuff I've acquired. But sadly when I broke the news to mom that I wouldn't be updating the blog anymore she threw down the only card that she knew would take the table....."oh, your dad will be sad to hear that." so hence living in amadaland will now be called go tell dad the blog is updated.

I wont even try to catch you up on the last 3 months. Really there isn't much to tell. Life settled into it's routine, and just flew by. Just like that. Sure the chickens have gotten out a time or two, and I started a workout program that keeps me from being able to use my upper body two times a week, but for the majority of time...nada.

you know how it goes.

So we'll just start back up like we never left off....
This last week, The trucker and I did a little southern colorado tour just for kicks. that's right, we actually took advantage of my 4 days off, plus a bonus Memorial day and headed out the door with all of the dogs in tow. The first morning camping came as a shocker, and I was reminded very quickly that above 9000 ft, it still snows. Good thing my polar bear of a dog kept my legs warm. Atlas made an attempt to sleep on my head in the wee hours of the morning, but wasn't nearly as helpful as he intended.

Ah and there is my husband. Taking his morning shower at the top of Monarch Pass...in freezing snow runoff water. The video commentary goes something like this......

'I should really check the insurance policy to see if shitting yourself because the waterfall is so cold, and then slipping on a shit covered rock and busting your head open is covered. I wonder if I would be investigated for murder....'

BULA!!!!

2009-03-06T17:22:00.008-07:00

Fiji is the anti Jamaica. With the exception of the 6 ft 4 man jammed into a coach seat for 11 hours on the flight down, and his 5 ft 4 wife in a ball beside him rocking back and forth saying 'please don't be like Jamaica...please don't be like Jamaica' The rest of the trip was absolutely fabulous. Plus we hit the dollar exchange like a winning slot machine, so we made out like bandits! Helicopter rides for everyone!!!

We spent everyday doing something, whether it was snorkeling, or scootering around the island, island hopping in a helicopter or spending a day belly up to the pool bar nursing the 3rd degree sunburn on the back of my thighs...it was all done with a smile. On a side note.....re-apply suntan lotion on the back of your legs after getting into the van and changing snorkeling sites. That and when someone jumps into the pool and causes a wave....odds are you are going to fall off of the swim up bar stool.

These are a few of the billion orchids from the Garden of the sleeping Giants in the rain forest.

valentine class

2009-02-15T15:10:00.003-07:00

The trucker and I discussed recently how this was going to be the first year that I didn't get flowers from my father on valentines day. Considering the truckers rants about store bought flowers and some small town tenth grade girl that broke his heart and he wasted his saved money on flowers for her and it got him NOWHERE (pause for laughter on what THAT must have looked like).....Imagine my surprise last night when I came around the corner at work and found the back of a basket of beautiful flowers and snapdragons.

Now picture my face.....as I turn the basket around and find a hot pink thong strung across the front that says BABE in silver glitter. As I'm fumbling with the strings hooked onto the plastic LOVE sticks protruding from the flowers, the panties come unraveled revealing that they are about eight sizes larger then I am. Without missing a beat my coworker Jason(who thankfully was the only other person in my department last night) says....

Yea, sorry I stretched those out before I realized they weren't for me.

Happy Babe Day everyone

You hungry? I'll cook you some eggs

2009-01-19T15:59:00.003-07:00

Some of the new additions here in the mountains. And lots of eggs.

surely there is a special place in hell for me

2009-01-14T10:16:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was my least favorite day of the year. Dentist day. Dentist fixing a filling that a previous dentist did on a previous least favorite day of a previous year. Dentists. I just don't like them.

I made my appointment after work on my so called Friday at 8am, this I thought would allow me a sleepy fast dentist appointment. Hum, yea, no. Dr. Dentist (one step away from being a serial killer....pulling teeth for a living and all) somehow managed to tell me about how 70% of people take numbing injections fine, but each persons anatomy is different so there may be some nerves he may hit that I could feel in my tongue or up the side of my face. Then of course since he said it, he did it, and I suddenly felt like I had my tongue in a light socket.

'Yup OK it happened' Satan serial killer said as he looks at me. "And you should know that those nerves will now be numb today and can possibly stay numb for up to six months. Don't be concerned when your right eyelid is a little droopy, that nerve is from your jaw and has been hit too.'

As the violent turrets expletives began to work there way out of my mouth they were immediately stopped my the lack of movement from my tongue. With the exception of a 1 cm section of the front left tip of my tongue, I had NO FEELING of my entire tongue. Panic. How do I swallow. I've forgotten how to swallow. The need to scream at this man is completely bypassed by the fact that I cant.....oh wait, figured it out. Back to the numb tongue-tongue lashing. Two more shots later and twenty minutes of drilling I left there looking like a stroke patient and sounding like a deaf girl. The trucker was immediately summoned to kill the dentist, but in his own defense, could not understand a word I was saying on the phone. The drive-thu pharmacist wasn't much better when he screamed through the microphone for me to

'HAVE......A.....NICE....DAY...!'

I may not have been able to say it, but the figure gesture did the trick.

By the time the trucker got home he found me passed out on the couch with a combination of tea, ice cream, and water all over my chin and down my sweatshirt, but thankfully, after a four hour nap, my tongue, and my eyelid were back in full working order.

oh pow pow

2008-12-26T16:01:00.005-07:00

Even our chickens got a little festive for the Christmas holiday. (note the blue egg)

The snow has been falling for days now. The trucker upgraded the plow to the giant tractor plow. Good thing he likes to push snow so much!

We spent christmas yesterday held up in the house with the fire going strong. Somehow santa still managed to land on the roof (possibly what started the roof slide along with the hurricane winds) and the house was blessed with christmas presants. Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday time off as much as we are!

A little before and after....

2008-12-23T13:59:00.006-07:00

Just when you think winter will never get here.....suddenlly your clearence on the vw isnt enough to get you out of the driveway. Times like this make me miss Winter Park.....or maybe just immediate access to a ski mountain..

The instant snowfall has granted me personal escort to and from work. As we drove in last night, it was a game to count how many cars were in the ditch. It wasnt until an ambulance was spotted in the ditch that I knew it was going to be a long night.

my apron is malfunctioning

2008-12-18T17:03:00.004-07:00

You know and I know....in Amandaland, if you wear an apron and step into the kitchen, you have the superpowers of top chefs.

So I take down the apron from the tooth hook of the boar head, and start on the masterpiece that was to be the truckers birthday dinner. In my own defense, I was sleep deprived from the previous nights graveyard shift, and in a time crunch to make dinner and bake a cake before I had to go back to the hospital.

The recipe is simple and one from the "BAM" himself.

Raw Shrimp
Emrils essence spice (sprinkled over the cooking shrimp)
1 clove chopped garlic
2 tbs olive oil

Cook shrimp with above, as the shrimp pinkens add....

1 cup white wine
1/2 cup lemon juice

Pile on top cooked pasta, s&p toss and serve hot.

smelling soooo good, I'm thinking

"BAM"

Until we sit and the trucker takes a big bite and....CRUNCH....I forgot to peel the shrimp. son of a ......... peeling cooked shrimp that is smothered in sauce while singing happy birthday to your husband.....priceless

But wait, the cake! The beautiful black forest cake that your family will attest to the fact that you called them to find out what the hell was....

well....

I was out of confectioners sugar. so I substituted with real sugar.....which is not an acceptable substitution despite what that stupid website said. There is no thickening agent in it, and incredibly.....um....crunchy. If there was video you would see that the cake frosting moved like the blob...

BAM.

Celebrating Amandaland

2008-12-13T15:20:00.002-07:00

Killing time before work tonight came across this photo of Keva at my bachelorhood party. The true humor lies at the trail head where Keva stood with my banner...waiting patiently....as other people arrived at the trail.....and in a turn of much confusion, another Amanda arrived.

Other Amanda who we don't know: "Is that for me?"

Keva: "um...no..."

Other Amanda who we don't know: "Oh, because I'm Amanda...and it's my birthday"

Keva: Weird. Want me to take your picture with the sign?

The rest of the morning had some confusion with the other Amanda hiking party. Which is a lesson to us all...

Travel with a flag.

2008-12-11T09:53:00.004-07:00

It was a tight squeeze, but everyone insisted on going into the woods to find the Christmas tree. You'll notice there that Teva can see out the window if she sits on Jake's lumbar spine.

So into the Rifle wilderness we go. There has been such little snow here, that it was pretty easy to get in and out. We were a little off on how BIG the tree was. So after the fourth trimming....we got it squeezed in.

Lets call it a....um....work in progress. Going to buy Christmas decorations is a little overwhelming. Plus we are a fairly non-traditional home, so an angel just didn't cut it. Unfortunately the Nome made the tree too top heavy and that idea was held off until more duct tape could be purchased....

turkey lurky dooo

2008-11-26T14:21:00.002-07:00

Well we are off to go spend thanksgiving in denver!! In an attempt not to cook and trash the house, we are planning to go elsewhere and trashing someone elses!

With all the dogs in tow....here we gooooooo!

Because we can

2008-11-15T07:48:00.003-07:00

At wal-mart yesterday, I came across a rescue dog shirt perfect to accesorise the basset hound. It was a tight squeeze, but he managed to suck it in.

FYI

2008-11-07T11:16:00.003-07:00

Catching a loose chicken is a two person job. Anything less and your not 'catching' a chicken your 'chasing' a chicken around a chicken coop.

In a circle.

For thirty minutes.

FYI #2. The idea, I'll get a dog, is a poor idea. Dogs do not make good back up in chicken catching. 'chasing the chicken' now becomes 'trying to save the chicken life'

Chicken 1, Amanda 0, Atlas 4

did you pack tom?

2008-11-06T14:10:00.003-07:00

I'll work with the crappy on and off internet only because I know my sister is bored out of her mind right now. It is my duty then to give her a funny story, but first lets set the scene:

I'm at work, which is now the graveyard shift on the weekends. Lots of interesting characters. Including a few that I work with. Come around one am, what is left of the skeleton crew staggers around the hospital in search of candy and conversation. I, normally have both, and in comes a new face for me, Fire red from the lab. I call her fire red from the lab because she has dyed fire red hair and she works in the lab. White coat and all with the square black glasses, in her late 40's is my quess. Now I keep it fairly dark in my department at night, I find it easier for the drunks and they in return seem to be less combative, but even with the lessened light, Fire red from the lab is sheer brightness. I'll be honest, she catches me mid boggie session in an attempt to stay awake. Full power walk she comes through the automatic doors looking for someone else I had never heard of. Trying to take the attention off of my sweet dance moves I offer her a hot tamale. She accepts and eyeballs my south africa book and the following conversation occurs.

"are you really going to africa?"

yes. In June

"really?"

yes. I even comitted to buying the travel guide.

"can I ask what may be a weird favor?"

um. sure.

"will you take some of tom with you? I have bagged up his ashes in different bags so that he can travel all over."

(wow total shock, it clicks here that the company email about a spouse dying must have been Fire red from the labs husband)

um, isnt that maybe something that you want to do?

"not africa. I'll never make it there, no desire, but Tom really wanted to go" she continues while downing the box of red hots looking me dead in the eye the whole time. "just sprinkle him somewhere cool and thats that."

thats that. I dont see how I can refuse.

The rest of the night I tried to come up with the funniest way to tell the trucker about this. Around three red flies back in through the hall....

"word in the lab is your going to fiji too"

Get away from my dead cat!!

2008-10-11T09:10:00.003-06:00

So I'm having a very zen moment during my morning yoga when my gaze goes out the window and I am distracted by five very large buzzards dive bombing and landing next to the garage. For a moment I think nothing, then somewhere in the clarity of the crescent moon pose it hits me. buzzards outside of fence=good. Buzzards landing = something dead. Lance the cat outside of fence living in garage=bad. Buzzards=dead cat. Bad.

This is the course my brain goes.

Warrior two took on a whole new meaning as I fly down the stairs in my zen like outfit and run out the door screaming nooooO! I hit the gate breaking land speed records, climbing up the hill waving my arms screaming 'get away from my dead cat!!!'.

About the time I got to where I thought the dead cat would be, the buzzards were off the ground and now just circling around above. And I cant find the dead cat. But I am still screaming at the buzzards to go away, throwing the occasional rock. As I continue to walk around in the trees, I start to realize....I'm about to see a dead cat. Despite my experience in Anatomy with this, I am finding myself unprepared. So I stop, and take in a few breaths and decide, that I HAVE to find the dead cat. I can not leave his body out here to be pecked at by the buzzards. With a solid 210 heart rate, and watching the buzzards above, I try and stand as still as possible scanning the bumpy juniper tree yard. And then from behind me the crude loud meow of my not really dead cat Lance.

I am not kidding people when I say I jumped a good eleven feet in the air looking like I had just been tazered in the back. And Lance, apparently awaken from his morning siesta by me screaming about a dead cat trotted over from the garage. The next few minutes I spent bent over trying to recover from a heart attack as not dead cat weaved his way through my legs. Stupid cross eyed cat looked up at me and saw the buzzards in the sky and ran back to the garage.

sticking with it

2008-10-04T16:23:00.006-06:00

Compromise. If the boar head stays, then I will decorate it.

The wedding went off without a fire, helicopter, passing out panic attack or any other mad hatter pre wedding dream disaster that I had. There were a few hiccups, and yes my loving sister did start off her toast with ' my sister has had a lot of boyfriends'. Hysterically enough, the wedding video ends with one of my best friends staggering off with her husband discussing their level of inebriation.

oye I love it

but as things wind down, it sure was nice to have seen everyone and had a chance to celebrate such an anticipated day. And the presents sure are a nice touch.

Ill post some pictures when I get them all in. They have been arriving in bits and pieces, and the ones from the actual photographer are still out. Thanks for sticking around!
Until then, keep your pimp hand strong!

Roundtrip ticket

2008-08-03T17:48:00.012-06:00

It's going to be tough trying to get the trucker to stop saying 'eh' all the time, but other then that Canada is a pretty cool place. Which is good, because that's why we went there. Being 102 degrees here = cranky pants, and with a 9 day break from work we headed for the border. Americas cool cousin Canada. Where we proceeded to visit friends we had me once years ago, meet family friends for the first time, and essentially spare bedroom surfed our way around BC.

Having never been, I have to say it was pretty sweet. And the temperatures even drove me to buy a jacket. Canada. You have yet to let me down.

The boats on Victoria Island.

The culture diversity in Vancouver was outrageous. We went to the Islamic festival downtown, and since the sign said, learn about the Islamic culture, and we didn't know about any of it, we went. What a kind group of people so eager to share there culture. At one booth a young man asked if we were married, when I told him 'soon', they got so excited and dressed us up in the traditional wedding attire and took our pictures. The jeans and tennis shoes totally give away the fact that we are soooo american.

The trip took us inland then to do a little sailing with one of my moms childhood friends. This is a must stop for anyone going to BC. Al and JoAnn have a charter sailboat 'The Cats Ass'. I got to drive. Before we left I was using all kinds of sailing jargon. 'Hand over the booty!'

Oh wait, that's pirate talk.

The trip was wrapped up at a small farm on a lake with some snowmobiling friends of the truckers. The trip had barely ended before another began, and we just got home from a second quick trip to see the crew from WP, as Molly and Pete got married. Now for me it's time go go join the crew downstairs, and try to get some rest in before the work week begins.

not as easy as it looks

2008-06-30T15:21:00.003-06:00

Mom is on me about being a month behind on blogging. Considering I was gone for 2 weeks and took my national registry this month, I thought I was doing good breathing.

I passed by the way. (and the crowd goes wild)

Meanwhile the trucker and I loaded all the dogs in the burb and drove to the eastish coast to take a little break from it all.
We stayed off the main highways (to throw off the feds of course) and just enjoyed the drive.

It became pieapolooza 2008. I ate pie in each state we went to. The winner you ask? Kentucky. Yum. Runner up, Oklahoma followed by a close third in southern Colorado.

So it's back home and Ive started work, as well as a workout routine to take care of the pie handles. On top of it all planning a wedding is not as easy as the tv shows make it look. I have NO idea what I'm doing and everyone assumes that I do. This is my first wedding folks. I logged onto a wedding website and after registering all of our info a window pops up.....

92 days to go and 231 unchecked 'to do' things.

Oh sweet jesus, giving me a countdown is not doing anything but increasing my heart rate. Which on the plus side has got to be burning some calories.

How to call AAA

2008-05-28T09:20:00.006-06:00

AAA: Hello Miss King, are you in a safe location?

Well the police are here, so I'm going to say yes.

AAA: Ok good, what can we help you with?

I'm going to need a tow.

AAA: Ok, what is the make, model of the vehicle?

79 VW westy

AAA: What color is the vehicle

On fire red

AAA: Can you give a landmark for the tow truck, we are concerned he may not be able to locate you.

Sure, tell him to follow the smoke, when he can see the flames slow down, and if he passes the fire engine, he's gone too far.

AAA: Oh.

I dont even know where to begin

2008-05-26T20:40:00.007-06:00

I graduated.

(Id show you a picture but I forgot my camera at home)

My family and I plus the trucker went to the grand canyon.

(and I forgot the camera)but luckily superstar sister photo logged it all

The trucker asked me to marry him during the sunrise over the canyon.

(and superstar sister had a camera)

(I said yes)

Then we came home from family trip USA, and worked all morning on Beck McVanagon. (luckily I have this picture from the archives)

Then, after the fishing poles were loaded in, and one German Shepard later, we made it 12 miles down when the bus caught on fire.

(and luckily despite the fact that we didn't have the camera, some of the people who watched it blow up were nice enough to email me a picture from their camera phones)

So what have you guys been up to?

Springtime pictures to keep you posted

2008-05-01T15:04:00.009-06:00

Everyone seems to be thawing out, soaking up some sun, and spending time playing in the sprinklers around here without me.

Even the spiring chickens are acting their part.

Unfortunatly I am not the only one that wants to carry around the chicks.

Even the elk are enjoying to upcoming grass.

Apparently everyone gets bored since I'm on nights now, and there have been some creative games being played by the dogs in my absence. Like.....Eat the spinkler starring Atlas, and Tevas favorite, count the fat rolls on Mr. Jakers. Lucky for me, I get to join them in a few weeks.

2008-03-23T08:11:00.002-06:00

Happy easter easter bunny balk balk!

Yesterday, the trucker, his bff and I spent the day working on the yard around the house. Considering I havent really ever had a yard to plant things in before, I had no idea what I was doing when I went to Lowes. Somewher, sometime, I think I heard, or saw that if you plant bulbs when its still frosting outside that they grow after and you never have to plant them again. Anyone? Anyone?

Anyways, I bought a ton of bulbs, and about half way through the morning, my well planned landscaping ideas of tall flowers behind short flowers.....turned into my randomly throwing bulbs on the ground. If anything grows I'll let you know. In my mind it is going to look like something out of Gardening Magizine.

Final words

2008-03-18T20:34:00.002-06:00

My portfolio is complete. My brain is a little mushy, and when I looked over it this morning, I find the 'letter to bette', may be a little more honest then I should.....but funny

Dear Bette,
I know how everyone always says how happy that they are, you had this as an assignment. Honestly, this portfolio just made me feel more insecure about what I thought I knew. Or more importantly what I was hoping that my brain would remember from the accumulation of two year of flashcards. Frankly, the magnetism/ electromagnetism section isn’t my best work. I think I had to go over it about 3 separate times just wondering if what I had written even made any sense, or if I had just convinced myself what I had written was correct after staring at it for 3 hours. And let’s face it, if there is a massive explosion in the world and I am the one left to wire us a new x-ray circuit, I may personally be responsible for blowing up the remaining survivors. My strengths on the other hand, are a confident understanding of radiation protection and an incredible dedication to the patient care. I will leave this program knowing that I have a solid understanding of what is going to produce a good image, all the while protecting my patient from the radiation that I alone am exposing them to. I will also always understand that I am never done learning about the field.
I hope you don’t find yourself too terribly bored while reading this. Perhaps you would enjoy a tasty adult beverage after you’re done. Now that I’m done, that idea sounds pretty good.

Thank you for your dedication to us,
Amanda

2008-03-02T08:18:00.004-07:00

Ok ok fine.

I'm alive, feeling good, except I'm pretty sure that something happened in the universe and I'm dealing with 1/4 of the hours that used to be consumed in a day.

The trucker and I cleared out and cleaned the apartment yesterday. All official now, We're living in sin. It's quite impressive how much I had crammed into that space. Many trips to the thrift store later, and I still managed 3 truck loads to the house. I was so exhausted on the last day of packing that when I hit I70 and watched something fly off the back I took in a sigh and though.....one less thing I have to unpack.

The handsome hound is trying his hardest to adjust to the sleeping arrangements.
Meanwhile, the trucker is battling what I'm guessing lab results this week will determine a parasite.

F-ing Jamaica, the gift that just keeps on giving.

As far as school goes I learned in my mock registry that taking the REAL registry hung over is not a good idea. Somewhere around #84 the headache creeped on, and then around #113 I contemplated stopping where I was at and taking a nap. Yikes. Luckily in my heart of hearts I know that my score will be better next time based on the fact that I will not be drunk from 1-84.

Stupid box wine and good friends.

So I'll try to be better with keeping updates, and maybe soon I'll unpack the camera and give some new pictures. 71 days till graduation. 71 days

Snow snow and more snow

2008-02-02T16:21:00.000-07:00

It seems like the second it's time for me to go anywhere lately, there is a massive snowstorm on the frunt. I know, thats no excuse for not blogging. We have gotten a rediculus amount of snow over the last two weeks. Sure, just when I have an out of town rotation and a car without 4WD.

Control the slide and carry an extra pair of pants and panties in the car. Thats the girl I've become, and thats the way I roll.

The new hospital is quite nice. Such a small town that at lunch last week there was a HUGE uproar in the cafeteria over the highschool varsity football team. It seems that the freshman that helped the varsity team during practice recieved a varsity letter for their participation.

Those bastards.

With the exception of the piling snow, everything else is clipping along well. I'm in the last semester of school......what?! seriously?! that went by way fast. Next week I leave for my first radiology confrence.....in VEGAS BABY! I've never been, so there may be some blog worthy stories coming soon. I did however have to sign a waiver along with my other classmates promising to show up sober to all functions where representing the college. Bah.

Come wednesday, I'm sure to see another massive snowstorm on the horizon as I will slide my way into nevada. Keep your fingers crossed, and ignore the spelling errors, blogger spell check isn't working. Leave it be I am a slave to spell check.

Tijuana, I mean Jamaica pictures

2008-01-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

Jamaica is a total shithole. Seriously. It's not even a step above Tijuana.....it's more like the raised part of the sidewalk on the edge that catches your toe and makes you bust out your front teeth when you fall.

We did some cool stuff, but everything and everywhere you go, you need to check the legitimacy of it because not everywhere is safe.

After the death defying car rental in Kingston from what I can only describe as Kingston's king pen....we were off in our obviously stolen car racing for the beach. Which coincidentally there isn't really too much of. The beach that there is, is gated and private. Everything else is a wall built that the ocean smacks against, so you see HUGE waves, but impossible to surf because of the jagged rock underneath.

The 'how to stay safe in Jamaica' tour book in our condo told us where to go and what to do. So we did. It included.... going to see where Bob Marley grew up and is buried.

Climb the falls. (This was fun until the trucker broke his toe.)

Ride horses in the ocean water. My poor horse saw this as his opportunity to make a break for Cuba.

Donkey dress up. Note that is nothing like the Tijuana donkey show.

Thought about some canoeing but like the horse, the trucker and I would have pushed on till Cuba.

And of course drink lots and lots of rum in hope of killing any parasites that might have snuck their way in.

Jamaica

2008-01-11T07:21:00.000-07:00

Let me first start by saying that this was by far the nicest gift anyone has ever given me, lovingly knowing that I had some anxiety about turning thirty.

Turns out you don't think about work, school, or turning thirty when you think that your going to get murdered in the Trenchtown Ghetto of Jamaica.

I have stories....oh sweet Jesus do I have stories.

For now I am drinking my coffee, trying to process what was seen, trying to drop the guilt of not giving those school kids money for their lunch fund. Trying to let that knowledge of a country accepted poverty stay in Jamaica.

Give me a day or so to get the pictures together, because it is true that the countryside is beautiful. The forest is lush and green, and the colors are fantastic. We did have fun, and we did eat a ton of local food that was delicious.

But this coffee is setting well on my tounge right now, so I'll talk later about it.
Very good to be home.

Happy New Year!!

2008-01-01T05:56:00.000-07:00

New Years resolution for 2008:

Blog more.

No not really, it should be, but It wasn't on the top of the list of things to work on this year.

Try not to be so crazy.

That's more like it.

And of course maybe try to get to the gym 2 times a week....

Superstaaaa has some great pictures from Christmas. Funny stories and maybe three too many plane rides for my taste. Sitting in a snowstorm for five hours in an airport gets old quick.

Good thing I'm funny. Yea, that's me in a suitcase, two dollars richer. I will however keep that trick in my pocket for any upcoming trips that I might want to sneek away too....

like JAMAICA!!!!! (wild applause from the crowd in round)

Thats right, I leave tomorrow for my birthday celebration week in Jamaica. If I'm going to turn 30, I am damn sure going to be on a beach getting a tan.....

Plus 10 for the trucker for falling hook line and sinker for 'King girls turn 30 on beaches'......2 out of 3 that is.....

Happy new year everyone.

counting down the days.

2007-12-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

The truck drivers birthday was a total hit. We rushed into Denver with all three dogs in tow, checked in, and went to the first surprise present.
It was amazing. If you never plan on doing hallucinogenics in your life, but have always wondered......go see this show.
The second night was Americas favorite Mexican comedian. He was pretty funny, but I didn't get some of the jokes when he switched from English to Spanish.....the Mexican crowd went crazy, so I'm guessing the joke got funnier.

Now we are just counting down the days until we hop on the plane and head south. Hopefully between then and now I will have found the camera chord. Not that we were allowed to take cameras into either of the shows, but the dogs are still cute.

2007-12-12T15:05:00.000-07:00

can you believe that it's almost over? I'm officially on my month off break now, and have a semester to go before I get my little bo peep degree.

weird.

There will be a lack of pictures for a bit,
as in: making a Geek squad employee cry = loosing all of your pictures on a hard drive. But don't you get too torn up about it bc the camera is at my side and an exciting month is ahead.

You'll see.....I promise.

It's Alive!!

2007-12-07T08:39:00.000-07:00

Well kiddos, my computer crashed....

during finals.....

And I made a Geek Squad employee cry.

I feel bad about that one actually.

After this week of clinicals I have a month holiday vacation where the trucker and I are traveling as much as possible. Unfortunately we will not be in an eighteen wheeler. I'll try and keep you all posted on what is going on as I Christmas shop shop shop the days away.

Holy crap I can't believe you still check this page

2007-11-18T14:43:00.001-07:00

Mr. Jakers and I have been taking turns throwing our head in the toilet. The stress of my final and paper/presentation has left me in the 'ulcer bleeding stage' for the last two weeks. Two out of three left, I am polishing off a bottle of pepto and hiking my pants up like a big girl.

I missed you guys too.

There is nothing really to fill you in on, unless you want to know something about the skeletal gene mutation of dwarfism?

Everyone loves a midget.

The truck driver has gone international for a week, which has left me with a pack of dogs. I don't mind, they are pretty funny together....especially when we attempted a photo shoot to send to the trucker so he wouldnt forget what we look like.

Certainly not my best work, but Atlas comes close to outweighing me, and Teva was more interested in a bug then helping me stay upright. The handsome hound of course is always ready to strike a pose.

I of course am crashing a thanksgiving dinner as tradition has it. This years lucky family has no idea that I am showing up with an extra turkey to sneek into the frier and take home with me. After last years fiasco, I think it will be better if I bring my own bird to the dinner to take home at the end of the night.

Paid cat hitman

2007-10-30T18:23:00.000-06:00

Good god someone shoot me. No no not really, I can't spare any time off of free work and class. It's a bad thing when I day drift about how I get to sleep in one extra hour because of daylight savings time this weekend though.

But Lucky for you I have a story I've kept in my pocket for a treat that is today. Mom, Amy, Phil. Your probably the only readers I have left so this one is for you.

A few months ago while leaving the truck drivers house, the cat that resides in the shop jumped in through the passenger side window in the driveway. Teva, thinking Christmas had come early, proceeded to chase the cat around the back of the station wagon while I threw it into park.

I open up the back drivers side door and try and herd the cat. No Luck. Teva and I are not working well as a team on this. Knowing if I touch the cat I am destine to go inside and wash up because of kitty allergies, I throw a jacket over the cat. The cat, as I am now half way into the car, is escorted out via the backseat passenger side window. Despite my efforts I sneeze all the way home.

A couple weeks later we realize that no one has seen the cat.

Kitty kitty was the truckers ex's. Who called. To check on the cat.

And the trucker says to her.......

'Ya know no one has seen him in a while. Actually I think Amanda saw him last when he jumped into her car and she threw him out the window.'

Sweet. My head drops to my chest and I shake my head.

Stupid cat is going to get me beet up in the alley.

2007-10-11T12:18:00.001-06:00

I somehow managed NOT to pee my pants on the drive home this afternoon.

Something about road trips with my family engraved into my brain NOT to pull over just to pee when there is only thirty miles left to get home.

I swear my eyes were yellow when I went flying past the state patrolman. I actually mouthed the words "I have to PEEEE!' when we made eye contact.

He must have understood and had a father like mine.

It even took what seemed like hours to convince my bladder that it was ok to go, and not a hallucination due to kidney eruption once I got to the house.

In other non'eurethra damaging news, Teva spent the day at the vet having some 'touch up' work done for her birthday. Everyone got a kick out of me having cosmetic work done on my dog for her birthday.....which wasn't really intentional, but did work out quite nice as a gift with a pack of greenies.

2007-10-05T19:14:00.000-06:00

Today is my girls birthday. She of course doesnt look at day over seven.

And she is currently outside hunting chipmunks.

2007-09-27T07:44:00.000-06:00

I swear I'm not dead mom.

This week is flying by and I keep looking down to make sure that my pants are still on. I have a lot to get done each week and my blogging is going to suffer.

I think Amy should take up my slack and post every other day to calm the masses.

While juggling it all I have the three dogs to watch over while the truck driver is off killing Bambi.....or an antelope. The German Shepard....that I like to call ding dong, is very excited all of the time. Hes never allowed to get on the couch, and now I know why. But he is very suportive of my studdying, and thinks that if he shoves his head as tight as he can behind my back, maybe I wont see him.

The weekend at the spa was amazing. There are only a few pictures, due to my forgetfulness of packing the camera every day, and the lack of anyone letting me bring it into the spa. Which is kind of sad, because I would have loved to have taken a picture of the massage therapist that I sort of got molested by during my treatment. The Swiss love me....even the women.

2007-09-20T08:44:00.000-06:00

Ok, but just really quick. I HAVE been meaning to blog, but I've been caught up in life. I'd sit down to long on, but the Internet connection seems slow, and the phone rigs with another crash of a body part. It's been flying by like the view from the basset hounds ears.

School is changing every week now, surgery is over, and so is nuclear medicine, ultrasound is next, and I met a man who was a gigolo in 1934. The truck driver learned to water ski, a baby projectile vomited down my shirt all while I'm buying stock in blank flash cards. I have a paper to write, a test tomorrow, and then a weekend to rejuvenate here.

I promise to take the camera.....I'll keep it out of the spa, but hopefully the fall colors will be out in the mountains.

Until then it's time to get back to the flash cards....but I'll leave you with the 91 year old gigolo joke.

Why are babies so fragile when their born?

Because they're only put together with one screw.

2007-09-05T18:59:00.001-06:00

Free MySpace slideshows, photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Just a Teaser

2007-09-05T08:03:00.000-06:00

Ok, I'm home, and I have to get to the hospital, but here is a quick snapshot of the girls as they

got off of the plane. If someone was busting a superstar, this shot would have said it all.

Seriously.

2007-08-30T17:16:00.000-06:00

I'm nervous. Not about my first exam tomorrow......I'm nervous about the southern girls flying in tomorrow.

Please god dont let us go to jail

He's Alive!!!!!

2007-08-27T17:03:00.000-06:00

Whooo HOoooo! Beck McVanagan is ALIVE!!!!

Kicking and Screaming

2007-08-21T20:25:00.000-06:00

I started my new semester today.

Surgery.

It was a little wishy washy day for me, but overall.....I think it's going to turn out a rotation that I like.

I'll catch up with you kids sometime by the end of the week.

But I DID survive the first day.

300th Post!!

2007-08-15T16:25:00.000-06:00

Blogger informed me when I logged on that I was on my three hundredth post. Whoo hooo drop the balloons kiddos and break out the bubbly.

Too bad I don't have a great story for you. You would think that the three hundredth I would bust out with the good stuff.

Here are some re-cap pictures of my month off.... Tiff and I went to Mt Rushmore, then with the whole American Treasure theme, I went to the derby and cheered for the USA shaggin wagon. Then at the fair the truck driver and I oohed and ahhed over the size of this turkey. On a side note that monster sold at the auction for $1700. Then he bought spider pig, so guess who's going to a hog roast soon....

The Relay for Life in Granby was fun....in a 3am running kind of way. I was freezing my ass off, so I decided to call mom and dad and see if they were up at 5. Turns out they weren't. Keva and I left with a deflated beach ball and a box of donuts, but our team raised 1700.....too bad I didn't have that turkey to raffle off.

Sadly I bought my modules today for class. Yup. Class starts on Monday. I dont want to go back to school. My ulcer is quiet, my skin is good, and I am finally getting some sleep. I foresee myself crying like a five year old as I walk to class on monday.

I break for Pie

2007-08-09T15:02:00.000-06:00

Purple Pie Place. South Dakota.

Even with the month off I still don't blog!!

Geez.

Somewhere in my travels have misplaced the camera upload cord. Don't fret my pets, you can go see Tiffany for a good ole fashion photo montage.

As for me, I've been hanging out a lot with a trucker. Guilty. Judge away. Tonight we are going with Amy and Devon to the derby. Umm redneck fun. I'm packing bush lite....

When I sober up in the morning I'll be off to Winter Park to run in the ACS Relay for Life this weekend. Hours and hours of running at night....hummmm. I have to stop agreeing to do things while under the influence of tasty adult beverages.

I'm hoping as I unpack and repack that the camera cord will magically reappear. If not I promise to pick one up in Denver on my way home.

2007-08-04T08:30:00.001-06:00

Ah the sunset at Carhenge. The first of America Treasures that the sister and I are seeing this weekend.

I am very disappointed that the 'I got Stoned at Carhenge' shirts were sold out. So I stole a little piece of the car to keep as a reminder.

Off to see the wizard

2007-08-03T14:23:00.000-06:00

I'm in Nebraska with the Superstaaa Sister. Tonight we're going to watch the sunset over carhenge. Don't you worry, I brought my sketchbook to capture the magic of it all. Then we're off to go see one of Americas great

national treasures. I was told if I play my cards right I can hop a velvet rope and get a secret shot up someones nose. Oh just you wait. Until then I need to rest and find the allergy medicine.

Super Staaa!

Shagin Wagon out

2007-07-28T15:05:00.000-06:00

I'm hooooome!!!!

For the last few days Ive been on the road, landing in New Mexico at Navajo Lake with Big red truck and Little Girl. On a side note, traveling in two cars with walkie talkies are freaking hysterical.

We got to the marina at a whopping ten o clock at night and took the boat over to cocaine cove where we camped.

Besides lathering on spf 50 / 4 times a day and still being red, we did what campers do.

Little time on the boat, little whiplash on the tube, little four wheeling, obviously a little drinking when there is a picture of you on a water tower. Luckily there is no picture of anyone passed out next to the campfire.......at least not one that I am ever going to show you that is.

Then at 4:30 this morning the alarms went off in the tent to head out of camp. See Little Girl had to be back in GJ by 10.

But the early bird catches the bear.

Now its time to clean up and get to that Simpsons movie!!!!

A case of mistaken Identity

2007-07-25T18:17:00.000-06:00

Here I am. Typing away, thinking.....where do I start with this story?

So we remember the guy from the gas station right?

Well with clinical over and some free time, I agreed to a date.

Why you ask?

Because all signs pointed to me being able to tell you a funny story.

Ya see, this guy was REALLY vague about what he did when we talked on the phone. Pretty much avoided the question at all cost. One day he called from a number that I didn't have programed into my phone....so I called the number back. I got a voicemail message for him.......

At the Beaver Trucking Company.

Yea. Great jokes all week on this one. I hung up without leaving a message and instantly started planning in my head how this date was going to go so I could tell YOU a funny story. Ya know, make up for the lame posts while in internship. Immediately I decided I am going to go out on a date with a truck driver from Beaver trucking. My main goal of the date was to get a tall brim trucker hat that said Beaver Trucking on it.

Even if it meant stealing it from his pickup.

Last night the truck driver picked me up in his jacked up Suburban that I literally needed a boost up to get into. I look around for the hat.

In the monster truck, I mention him being a trucker....because he's never really told me what he did, I needed him to know that I was totally fine with it, and hopefully by the end of the date I'd be comfortable enough to ask for the hat.

He looks over at me with a 'what the hell are you talking about?' look.

'Ya, know, the Beaver trucking company, I heard the message from the number you called me from, I laughed.'

Blank stare.

'Maybe you should be watching the road....'

Wow. Where do I start with all that? OK. I called you from my OFFICE one day, from BEERS TRUCKING, that I OWN, and have a fleet of WATER TRUCKS that are used to cool the drill bits on each machine in the oil fields.

'Oh. So there is no 18 wheeler that you drive huh?'

No.

At this point we were at the restaurant. Being led through the tables full of people I wanted to crawl under a chair and try and take back the 'your a trucker' comment. Out the door and up the stairs to the 'garden rooftop' that over looks the golf course and the national monument.

......where there is only one table made and the rest are pushed to the sides of the wall.

Yea. Totally not a truck driver.

Coming Soon to a town near you.....

2007-07-22T08:12:00.000-06:00

Well guys, summer internship is over. One semester left to go. And one month off.

Of course since I Don't have to wake up at 6, I've been waking up at 1, and 4, and 4:47, and then I finally give up and get out of bed around 6.

Without missing a beat, I have a runny nose like someone has hidden a cat in my apartment. I keep asking the pup in between fits of 8 sneezes in a row (personal record)......'Are you hiding a kitten from me somewhere?'

In an attempt to just get some fresh air and cool off, the two of us headed out to Glade Park this morning. It was so much cooler up there, and I just might have come across some secret trails for the future.

Teva and I are impossible to get in one picture. After three attempts, I realized it looked like some peeping tom was taking a picture of me peeing behind a tree. I crack myself up even when there is no one else around to laugh.

You get the picture

2007-07-17T18:51:00.000-06:00

I spent two hours in a CPR class last night only to realize half way through, it wasn't the certification that I needed. I immediately jumped up and left....poor quad amputee Annie dummy laying lifeless on the carpet.

It was a good thing I left anyways. Maggie and I had already been in trouble for laughing during class and had to be separated. Seriously. They call these dummies Annie....Who didn't think of the Michael Jackson song 'Annie are you OK, Annie are you OK, are you OK Annie"?

I can't help it if my singing inspired her to do the MJ Smooth Criminal dance and make me laugh so hard I snorted while trying to give rescue breaths.

I am going to be freaking useless in an emergancy situation.

Michael Jackson Smooth Criminal

2007-07-17T18:48:00.001-06:00

Rules of remaining friends after a break up

2007-07-14T12:50:00.000-06:00

It has come to my attention that some rules must be put in order. Feel free to comment any additions that you may have.......

Rules of remaining friends with you ex: By Miss King

1) Phone calls may only be made to tell a funny story. Exceptions may be made if you had a shitty day and need to hear a funny story, you may call the other person, but only to be cheered up. No one shall be denied a funny story.

2.) Weddings and Deaths must be notified by mail only. Texting does not fall into this category.

3.) Significant others must be asked by the other person. (ex: I must ask...'so how is that dirty whore your seeing?) Then you may bring her up. Only to have the beginning of the answer to start with....'well, she's no you'.....and then you may answer. Under no circumstances do you or I divulge that information without the other asking.

4.) We are to always assume that the other is seeing someone else. (ex: when I tell you I went on a 4 day camping/kayaking trip, you must assume that I was with my new boyfriend that is a much better person then you are)

5.) Your friends and family are my friends. My friends and my family will always dislike you. They may be nice to your face when they see you, but when the breaks on your car are cut, you'll know where their loyalty lies.

6.) Neither one of us will drown in denial about the past again. Conversations about the past will not only be breaking rule #1, but it will make me feel sad, and frankly, no one has a good time when I'm sad.

7.) We both promise not to judge the others life decisions. All laughter about how much of a bad idea that is will be pushed down to the 'church giggle' level until the phone conversation is over.

8.) If at any time we are ever in the same space, you and I will never have any physical contact.

9.) All alcohol consumption must be honestly admitted at the beginning of each conversation.

10.) No one ever gets hung up on. No matter how much of a jackass comment was just made. (ex: referencing the immediate need to go buy more condoms and rum)

11.) Rules may be added at any time, but must be put in writing into the original document, and a copy must be emailed back to the other person so they know the new rule.

12.) Any amendments to above rules must be agreed upon by a 75% majority. In a filibuster situation, decision will be made by the dog, Sativa Maria Cookieface Columbus Pastel La La La Easter King. She will hear the argument without prejudice. Tail wag=pass no tail wag=fail.

Trouble

2007-07-12T17:24:00.001-06:00

I'm not going to lie. One of us.....oh hell what am I saying, we're all going to jail.

We'll be like this joke:

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately jump into them. About a minute later, a policeman comes into the barn and sees the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one.

"Meow," says the redhead.

"It must be a cat," thinks the policeman and he kicks the second sack.

"Woof," says the brunette.

"Must be a dog," thinks the policeman and he kicks the third sack.

"Potatoes," says the blonde

yes. I realize that I am the blonde.

Amy, Fran, Molly and I are going to the Snowmass Jazz fest. God help the airline that let the three of them on one flight. Hopefully they recycle those mini bottles. Don't even ask. We are going to be in the bus. I will make SURE the bus is done.
You know thats how 4 southern girls roll.

2007-07-09T19:49:00.000-06:00

Just a few pictures from the weekend of the fourth......

I became the poster child for lost tourist hiker...(note: not a good idea to head out on a hike alone in a tank top, shorts, cowboy hat, fly rod, half a muffin, a nalgine bottle and the dog)

Don't worry mom, I had on a helmet when the ride actually started.

Now I guess it's back to the 9-5......sigh.

I miss the cool mountain air when I get home to 102.

Jedi mind trick

2007-07-07T20:00:00.000-06:00

Um. So I pulled you over because you were speeding.

'I can not argue that fact'

(he laughs) But I'm not going to give you a ticket.

(then as soon as the words came out of his mouth a look of shock goes across his face. .....I can only conclude that after dating a cop, I now have jedi mind trick over them.)

'Whoa. You cant take that back after you said it, and I heard it!'

Well. Lets take a look at your license, registration and insurance.

'Ok, but you said I wasn't getting a ticket.'

I hand him my pile of paperwork, all the while my dog has pushed her head past the bike and through the side of my seat to get a look at this guy out my window.

3 minutes rolls by....not that I was timing him or anything.....and another cop car , lights flashing pulls in behind him.

Oh dear god. I am about to wet my pants. Multiple cop cars, not a good sign. I'm thinking about the multiple jury summons I never went to. And frankly a few other things crossed my mind.

They both walk up to the car. Tevas head still sticking out. I'm adding up the cost of bail in my head.

'I cant believe I told you I wasn't going to write you a ticket'

I cant believe you called for backup.

He laughs and explains to me some kind of training procedure they're doing, and hands me all of my information back.

'My not getting a ticket must be some kind of 4th of July miracle then.'

Damn straight . Slow down.

2007-07-02T21:20:00.000-06:00

Lets all pause and enjoy a moment from me to you.......

So this is kind of from the rescent archives, but it may be relevant later so I'm going to tell it.

My little diesel car. I absolutely love her. Sometimes (clearing throat) when I go to the gas station (looking around) people will come up in a panicky kind of way and say....

"oh honey! your putting diesel in your car!!"

Yea. Like I'm an idiot that thought I would use the green pump because I thought the color looked pretty.

So, star swipe to a recent gas fill up. When I pulled into the station there was no one around.

No one.

So when I turned off the car and left the ipod on....turning it up a little.....ok a lot.....I felt completely safe in singing and doing a little Santana cha cha-ing while I was filling up the tank. Song over, and the next ipod song is pretty quiet. (loud quiet loud quiet.....I dont enjoy that when the ipod is in the car)

Exit young guy from inside the store.....I immediately think.....shit, I wonder if he saw me dancing...on the plus side he was IN the store, so he could NOT have heard me making up Spanish words to the Santana song..... He makes eye contact and b-lines for my car pointing......

"That's a diesel right?"

Yes. (i smile is a smart ass way) That's why I'm using the green pump.

"i meant that in a 'your not dumb' kind of way"

Thank you.

'I take it you've heard that before then'.

Yea once.

He laughs and we make some small talk about gas mileage and blah blah flirt. All the while I'm cleaning up at the tank, and suddenly ....the ipod song changes again ....and it is back to the volume that Santana was.......only louder.

and it's Barry White.

Its loud Barry White.

Oh yea baby. I shut my eyes and thank god for this very second where I could not feel more red. I turn and hussel towards to car laughing.

'Nice to talk to you' ....i yell without looking back and look into the car and I swear I see the dog laughing at me. With my back turned from him he stops about 8 feet from where we were standing and yells

'There isn't any way your single is there?'

I was laughing so hard at this point I just looked back trying not to snort amidst my laughter...

'Hard to believe isn't it?'

Barry White - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Babe (live)

2007-07-02T21:13:00.001-06:00

2007-06-29T17:39:00.000-06:00

The weather man opens up the forecast tonight saying.......

Man I have nothing new to say.

Damn it. Find a shady spot.

On a funny note I had to x-ray a hyper active ten year old boy today. Not funny that he broke his arm, funny the things that came out of his mouth. He wanted to know everything about the machine, the lead, the cassette, what everything was made of, how did it work, how fast did it go, did I ever time it? Maybe I should time it, ya know because who knows if its faster then a Nasa spaceship on liftoff, or his little brother getting pulled behind his bike in the wagon….

Hum. Is that how you broke your arm?

I hit the lights and positioned him in the dark. It was much cooler then the first time he had the x-rays done. There was a red laser, and that was awesome. No one let him see the lasers before, so now he KNOWS that this is faster then the bike pulling wagon contraption at his house.

After looking at the first image, it was obvious that this kid moved his body as quickly as his mouth.

When I told him that we had to do it again, he argued that he didn't move. Maybe I should start timing the laser he said, make sure everything was working up to code.

Seriously? Up to code?

And then there were none

2007-06-24T18:31:00.000-06:00

Baby Girl and I went up to the pot holes today to try and cool off from the hundred degree heat. Seriously. Hundred degrees. The drive up got a little backwards, and I missed the turn, and wound up on an off road trying to turn around. VW. Low clearance Amanda. Remember? Yea yea. Putter putter zoom WHAM! zoom?

So, we continued on, oblivious to what had happened under putter putter zoom zoom.

Now there are always some shady characters at the pot holes. But today? Well, in the words of Trudy Weigle......'this place reminds me of somewhere you might get yourself a good ole fashion rapin'.

Shady shady, someone is going to make a rap about that guy.

So we hiked a bit to get away from the shadiness and cooled off for a few hours. Little did I know, I was loosing massive amounts of oil as we bathed.

By 5 I was back at the house calling AAA.

Ahh AAA. I sure am getting the moneys worth this year.

Good thing I learned my lesson about a lack of oil seizing up an engine. As soon as I saw the flood of oil, well, lets just say AAA is programed into my phone. Who knows, maybe the mechanic gives a discount for multiple vehicles in a shop at one time.

Things that don't fly....

2007-06-22T18:49:00.000-06:00

1. Pigs

2. Concrete slabs

3. Ostridges

4. Getting stood up.

ohhhhhh snap.

As I was walking up to the hospital today, little red asked me how my night was...

"Well... I can only expect to see him on the fourth floor today when I'm doing his x-ray.....
That's the only possible way he's getting out of me unleashing the inner black woman after not showing up last night."

Tonight the pup and I will celebrate with a calzone from Pablo's, beer from Boulder, and some key lime pie from a box. Ummmmm key lime pie.

Fathers day

2007-06-17T20:35:00.000-06:00

I pretty much planned my day around going to walmart when it wouldn't be busy.

My logic was....dads have to be home by 5 to fire up the grill.

With my list in hand, I was in and out in an hour. I know. Not my best time either.

Because of the 99 degree heat and my extra window AC waiting to be carried downstairs to the car...I found myself standing in front of the fan isle. Yes. Tall fan was on the list. As I'm lifting this over sized box into the cart, the only other person in a 4 isle radius sits in her little auto drive cart in front of me spilling over the sides, and she says to me....

"I hope you have a handy husband at home because that's the hardest one to put together."

I pondered for a second how she would know that and pictured a house with a hundred fans in it.

"well do you?"

seriously? Feeling slightly offended and instantly reminded that I need to swing by isle 87 and get Midol, I turned around after wrestling the box into the cart.

"No. But I am Joe Kings daughter, so I'll do just fine."

Within two minutes of getting everything out of the box, I had to stop and get duct tape. This made me laugh....I truly am my fathers daughter.....not because I HAD to use duct tape, but more so that the duct tape roll was still in the vw bus, so I had to go with the emergency duct tape stash. The base had a crack in it, and I was tracking a trail of sand through the living room. Tape. Fixed.

Then, as I screwed in the last bit and boxed the cardboard pieces back up, out fell a few extra pieces. Yup. Totally my fathers girl.

I'm sure they're just extra because the fan is running fine....

Happy Fathers Day Pop.

Summer? Theres no summer here. You must have the wrong number.

2007-06-15T17:08:00.000-06:00

Despite the fact that it is 99 degrees outside, I have yet to feel like I am on summer break. Working a 40 hour week at the hospital for free is for the birds. Those of you who work this much normally should be wearing a superhero cape at all times.

Outside of the hospital I have written 3 computed tomography procedure papers, 1 vascular intervention paper, 3 prompted journal reports, and two chapters worth of my workbook questions that have been turned in. I'm tired, a little cranky and certainly too white of skin to have it be 99 degrees outside.

So my weekend is coming, my bus is still engineless and I think I could sleep through the weekend if the dog wouldn't mind. But of course I cant do that. There is a house to clean, scrubs to wash and yet another paper to write. Plus the patient boy that I found outside of my doorstep this week certainly needs to be shown some attention if I ever want him sitting outside on the steps again.

Trust me, I don't like this schedule any more then you do. I am totally aware that my blogging is suffering. *yawn*

This stroller sure isnt made for off roading

2007-06-10T17:35:00.000-06:00

I walked in knowing I was late.

She whipped around and looked at me, one side of her hair braided, the other in a wild mass on the side of her head.

'Some BFF you are, I'm dying here!' she said jokingly....but with a kind of wild animal look in her eyes that scared me a bit.....

Babies screaming in the background.

I wasn't killed because I stopped and brought Chick-fil-a breakfast. It calmed the beast in her belly I think.

Of course by the time we got them in the pimping minivan and to the race they didn't make a sound. On the boys official 1st outing, Heather and I took them to watch Trygue (babies daddy) bike a leg on a team triathlon. Not really sure how the guy who hasn't slept in a month, played Dr at the hospital all month and placed third did it. Dopers have nothing on this guy. Next year the three of us are going to be on a team. I swim, Trygue on the bike and Heather running. We might have to be Team Baby Swap, as we pass the boys along with the race.

The rest of my weekend was spent finishing up my CT papers. Hooray for no more CT! Not that Vascular Intervention is going to be much better, but at least there are only two papers instead of three next week.

2007-06-06T20:08:00.000-06:00

I know I know.

I'm a terrible terrible friend. I don't write and you get worried....But you love me. You know you do.

So you know that commercial for Mucinex where the nasty goopy guy is sitting in the chair, and the lung coughs and he goes shooting up the broncus? Well, goopy guy has been residing in my chest for the last week. In fact it feels a lot like this fron guy is in my lungs.

So I went out and got a box of that stuff, and lesson learned......although very effective, Mucinex is not the answer for the girl who can't halk a loogie.

Pretty much the last 3 days have been spent with me gagging in various trash cans and toilets in town.

Nice. I am a classy girl.

So this week of my clinical rotation is spent at the VA. Certainly different then last week when I was gagging in a trash can in St. Marys CT rotation for reasons other then my cold. *shivers* Let me tell you just how much I love old military men as patients.

a) They don't complain
b) They do exactly as told
c) They as no questions

Sweet. This is my kind of hospital. Plus I get to hear about 3 times a day....

'Honey, if I was 30 years younger, I'd be giving your boyfriend a run for the money.'

Oh you. Then I almost immediately turn red when I tell them they have to remove their pants for the CT exam and almost every time when I turn to get a gown from the closet, I'm face to face with a half naked old man.

'OK then here is your gown... oh sweet jesus I give you guys an order and theres not a second to loose is there?!.'

Then of course I cough and Im back to gagging out a loogie in the trash can.

Those guys are growing to love me.

The eyes....they don't look so good

2007-06-02T11:48:00.000-06:00

So this week ended my 'summer break' and started my 'slave to the medical man'. Decked out in all white I hit the doors on Monday at 6am, and pretty much everything since has been a bloody blur. Part of the program I'm in, rotates the students through each of the radiologic modalities, in case you want to specialize after you graduate. I started my summer in CT. Bloody trauma CT. I think it's safe to say that this one is not my favorite. Even though I lake the pace, and I like the information, when I walked back out the automatic glass doors later on the first day my brain constantly kept processing.....did I really just see that?

By the end of the week I walked out with a sore throat and runny nose passes around the CT department. On the plus side I did not walk out with the flesh eating virus that I saw earlier that week. I have another week in CT, but in a different hospital, one without an active ER.

Until then I'm going to work on drying up this runny nose and unplugging my ears. The watery glaze that covers my eyes....well, that may take just a few more days.

Putter putter Zoom Zoom

2007-05-28T13:58:00.000-06:00

With only a week before summer rotations, I hopped in the little putter putter zoom zoom and drove away. I caught up on Mollys birthday.....which was actually a month ago but none of us remembered......after all it's Molly that keeps the 4 of us organized on birthdays....

It snowed while I was in Winter Park....of course. But nothing beats these views.

Then I was reminded that putter putter zoom zoom has no clearance. Oh yea.....not driving a jeep anymore.

Amy gets massive thanks for all of the Jetta repair while I was there.

The trails were great, and the chilly weather was a good cool down. Remember Abby the wonder pup? Shes quite the good girl now. And Max the wild man that I used to babysit? Still a wild man.

Then I went to Vail where I worked on my karaoke skills at a friends going away party. Had a little too much of a rockstar time there. Pretty sure there might be a noise ordinance now with my name on it.

2007-05-21T09:32:00.000-06:00

Ever have one of those days where there is really no need to take your foot OUT of your mouth in fear of the damage that your mouth will continue to do when something isn't muffling the sound?

Hi, this is Amanda, the phone is off and everyone is going to voicemail. I blame all of my recent confusing conversations on a lack of social contact in the last year because of massive exams. But rest assured I'm easing my way back into society via my bicycle. Leave a message and I'll most likely return with a text.

Yea. That's been my last 3 days.

So, being a great friend, Amy and her boyfriend Devin took me to the drive in. And took my phone away.

I've never been to the drive in before, so I was pretty excited. We got there early and had a BBQ, then wrapped up in blankets and watched Shrek 3 and Firehouse Dog until midnight. It was too cold to sleep, which bummed me out because both movies would have been better seen from the inside of my eyelids. The drive in/cook out/public drunk experience was outstanding though.

Now this awesome day is calling me to come out and play, so I'm off for some flo jo bike therapy, and hopefully have the foot extracted from my mouth by next week.

2007-05-19T09:07:00.000-06:00

ahhhh. No exams. No 8am classes. No papers to write. No nothing to do for the next week.

Then of course I start at 6am at a new hospital.......boooooooooo.

Yesterday as I was leaving the lake, windows down, sunroof open...I caught a whiff of the most nauseating something in the air. Dear sweet Jesus! Seriously gagging. 4 miles later it hadn't blown past and I looked to the back of the car to see the culprit. Ummm hummmm. Worst smell ever coming from wagging tail white dog. She rolled in the worst something that I have ever smelled.....and that includes the time she rolled in bear shit on a Montana road trip.

Smelly got a bath not 1, not 2, but 3 times!

In other news, a potential engine has been located for Beck the mighty wonder bus. I'll keep you posted, but fingers crossed, the boy will be home soon!

Finish line

2007-05-16T14:11:00.000-06:00

My eyes are glazed over...... The left eyelid has twitched on and off for over 50 hours.....I haven't slept well in 4 days....... I have crammed in my poor brain everything you can about anatomy, radiation, radiation therapy, and every modality that goes along, processed, and regurgitated it for the last 3 days. I'm giggly being done, but I desperately need to go lay down. When I wake up there will be lots and LOTS of celebration.

Hands were up when I crossed the finish line.

Raspberry tea

2007-05-08T07:06:00.000-06:00

Yesterday Heather and I met for lunch to celebrate me finishing my fist exam. We had gone to the giant junk store downtown earlier this week, laughing hysterically at everything there. She tried to get me a macrome plant holder.

I had a beer and fish tacos. She had a philly cheese steak and raspberry tea. I went to class...and an hour later she went to the hospital.

What was in that tea?!?!

Sawyer and Fletcher screamed

their way into the world at around 6 last night.

Sawyer 3 lbs 5 ounces
Fletcher 5 lbs 2 ounces

Fletcher is getting a little bit of air from a respirator, I think just to get a jump on lung capacity for future bike rids. But both boys and mama are doing unbelievably well.

Welcome baby boys

Seriously, I can't make this stuff up

2007-05-05T14:52:00.000-06:00

My GOTR race was early this morning. This is my team from this season......

Who needs to stretch out when you can limbo your sign?

One of my girls Mattie is vision impaired, and at the awards banquet on Wednesday shocked us all when she asked me if I would pace the race with her. Looking back on it I think it is the squeaky running shoes. Something that has always made the girls laugh each season. 'Your not ever sneaking up on anybody coach Amanda.' I think now she could hone in on the noise and keep a steady pace better.

Having always paired Mattie with another team member during practices, I was really taken back when she asked. Taken back meaning sobbing in front of all the parents....oh honey....(sob)...of (gasp) course (sob sob gasp gasp) I (gasp) will (sob/gasp/hiccup)

You get the picture.

I made her a sign for this weekend, because she told me once at practice that she hated wearing her 'Blind Child' neon vest in public.

Her awesome mom made us all very cool tiaras. Each girls tiara had something written it. Mine said Hottchimamma. Its a game that was made up that the girls love to play.....Each practice they would run around begging to play, yelling coach Amanda...Hottchimamma!!!! And I'd say...'What'd you call me?' And they thought that was the funniest thing ever, because it was said EVERY practice after that.

Each one of the girls on this team were awesome, and Mattie just humbled my world every practice just by being there. She said to me during the race........'I sometimes wonder if I'm awake or if I'm dreaming........This isn't a dream right?' All I could muster up was....'Yes mame'

I was pretty silent the whole time with a few 'your doing great babe', and verbalizing turns and adjustments on the course. She got a lot of encouragement from the other racers when she passed them. I knew if I cried I would be battling sobbing in public, as well as taking away my running air supply. This girl was having nothing on slowing down either.

In my 3 seasons coaching, I have never heard a crowd roar like it did when we come through the 50 yard shoot. I told her we were at the marker and that kid dropped down about 9 gears and suddenly I found myself fumbling to keep up with the tiny string that linked us together. She crossed the balloon arched line with her arms up over her head, and as they scanned her number this tiny little gasping voice said..... 'I am Living A Dream.'

Hijacked...

2007-05-03T21:51:00.000-06:00

Hey there, folks. It's the Sister here. Amanda's WAAAAY too busy studying to be able to post. I thought we should give her a little cheer to help her along...

Min! Min! She's our Tech!

If she can't see it,

You're a wreck!!!!

Goooooooooo Min!

*Does high kick, busts a SuperSta! and does a front roll*

In 16 days, we're going to be seeing a lot of this.

Anxiety for 2 please

2007-05-01T17:09:00.000-06:00

My dog has anxiety.

I don't think there is any

question who she learned that from.......

In return she has taught me to always have an escape route available.

2007-04-25T19:20:00.000-06:00

I have exams in a week. I am testing in the next week before the final exams. I am so tired. I'm not going to be around for a while, but you know I'll miss you terribly.

Really, it's not you it's me.

2007-04-22T15:21:00.000-06:00

Work a runway........check.

Nail my Anatomy Exam.......working on that.....

Get the Helmet

2007-04-17T15:06:00.000-06:00

Lets start off with the obvious

............

I should have to wear some type of head protection at all time.

Today, brought that a little closer to home.

I am terrible with numbers. Combinations? I'm totally lost. Doesn't even matter how long I've had the lock for. Knowing this, I keep numbers written down....say in my book bag. So today when I went to the pool, I grabbed my number list, got changed, locked up, and hit the water.

When I got out of the pool, starving, shaky, soaking.....I stood in front of the locker.

Son of a........

My list is in my backpack. In the locker. I throw a couple of number combinations out with no luck. Where is my towel? Damn it it's in the locker too. Holy crap I'm hungry. I can't think let alone spit out numbers.

So I run. Upstairs. In my swimsuit. With my cap on. Goggles still on top. Through the weight room.

Hello, hi, how are ya, gunna finish that power bar?

So now I'm standing at the counter, shaking, doing a little hopping dance to try and keep blood moving as some poor girl is unlocking an office somewhere looking for a code. I realize when they talk to me that I have an insane amount of water in my ears. So I step back, and shake my head. Nothing. So I whip my head as hard as I can.....

and crack in right onto the counter.

Oh starry sweet Jesus.

I snap my combo from the girl as she walked out mouth open, eyes huge. Clutching the side of my head, still starving, still shaking, still soaking wet.

Helmet.

Sigh.....

2007-04-14T13:06:00.000-06:00

Looking for a home.

Not me, Otto.

Not the guy........The picture. The framed picture.

I can't show you Otto in fear that no one will want him, or you'll see him and laugh so hard that everyone will want him. I'm going to be setting up a website for Ottos travels.....you don't keep Otto very long. He's kind of like the traveling gnome. Usually snuck into the back of a car, you don't realize you got him till it's too late to turn back. At least that's how I got him. Otto helps you accomplish your goals.....so when my last final is completed in 4 weeks 3 days....Otto will move on to inspire someone.

On the back it says 'Pass it on' and then you sign your name and city, and do just that.

Otto has had his run in Junction....soon it will be time to pass him on. I thought of giving him as a wedding present (cough cough Phil) but I feared that they would feel obligated to keep him forever. And that's just not Otto. Otto is a free spirit. Otto can not be caged by the walls of society.

So I want some takers. Otto is not offensive and does not contain any inappropriate material. Otto is a motivational image.

Come on out of the woodwork, you closet reader you. I don't care if I don't know you. Or if I do know you and you need him, get on in this. Tell me WHY you need Otto and I promise he will be passed on next month. Just your name. I don't need an address yet.

Otto must be free.

I'm to sexy for my....

2007-04-10T17:33:00.000-06:00

Ok. I have a secret to admit, only because I'm about to be publicly outed. Ya see....

I have a list of things to do before I die.

One of those things on the list is to work a runway.

Now did I really put this on the list so when I die Tiffany has to stand at my funeral and read whats left on the list..... hit a Play button on a boom box and watch the ushers swing my casket down the church isle in last laugh for us all?

I'm..... to sexy for my shirt.....to sexy for my..........

Maybe.

Is it really a pushed down fantasy of the hippy bus driving feminist?

Maybe.

Either way, I got asked to model at a fundraiser. Totally local. Totally fun. My friend Ivy owns Pollux Boutique downtown, and today was my fitting. I seriously giggled the entire time, then demanded water with a lime/lemon hybrid fruit wedge, snorted a plate of cocaine, ordered 82 red jelly beans, ate one only to throw it up 3 minutes later, then I smashed a mirror and stormed out.

Well if I'm going to do it I have to do it right.

In family heritage stealing, I am 1/16 Asian. Since my sister Tiffany is ALMOST Asian (her favorite Asian will testify), and my BFF Molly is Asian, I claim 1/16 Asian. Don't worry, 85.5% of me is still strong black woman, and the 2% white girl is still trying to control everything.

Lets see how the 2% white girl holds up when they toss a majority black woman in an Asian dress, 6 inch heels and tell her to work a catwalk.

2007-04-08T18:25:00.000-06:00

Easter.

It's my favorite.

Coloring eggs and eating chocolate all day......

Its a chocoholic art majors day of peeps bunny worship.

When we were kids there was an all out-no holds bared- Easter egg hunt. Grandma must have boiled 6 dozen eggs for us to dye, hide, crack, and then watch her wash the dirt off of and make egg salad from. It took me a long time to be able to eat egg salad or deviled eggs that holiday knowing that a few of those eggs were in the street gutter. But that woman did not waste ANYTHING.

There was another Easter egg hunt at the nursing home where my grandma Mary was a nurse later that day. My older brother Ryan, (the Law Dog) would run around and only pick up the plastic eggs with money.

Grab. Shake. No money? Toss behind him and keep running.

Lawyers.

Back to the house egg hunt. My uncle Tony (who at the time was the unmarried swinging bachelor) would come in and pick a certain color of egg that all of the kids had been hand dying that morning on the poker table with spoons. Uncle Tony was the BEST EASTER EGG HIDER EVER!! Finding his token egg color was a coveted honor. He was so good at it, I remember Grandpa Bus (really his name) shaking his cut off stumped pointer finger at us one year.....

"You kids better find them all this year....I ran over an egg with the mower 2 months ago from last year."

I bet it was Tiffany who leaned into me and whispered...

'I bet grandma somehow used that egg.'

3 hour tour

2007-04-06T08:06:00.000-06:00

At around three yesterday, Margie, Chad and I decided to go for 'a nice hike' to shake off our clinical presentations from that morning. Chad suggested Bangs Canyon (which I tried to find a GPS map of so you could see it, but never did find). This seemingly worked out perfectly because it is still close to home, has water, and shade. The puppers like that combo.

Looking back it was totally Margie and I that

almost had us on an episode of survivor.

After 30 minutes into the canyon Chad talked of turning back. It was Margie and I that hadn't broken a sweat yet and pushed to keep going. The water was higher then usual, and because of that......we lost the trail.....a lot after that. The hike became a rock climbing expedition through the canyon. I was good until I watched my mountain goat dog slide down a rock face we were climbing. This is where we hit the 'no turning back, lets hope we're on a loop' point. Margie and I were picking up our dogs and passing them to lower rocks. Right about then, Chad says 'Did anybody else see on the news where search and rescue had to climb in here and get a guy out?'

Ummmm.

Looking back we were all delirious. It was like being on an insane Satan stair master for 3 hours while intermediately bench pressing a wet wiggly dog.

A power bar thats been in my camelback for god knows how long kept Margie from having to feast on wildlife.

It was agreed that if one fell, the others got to do the x-rays.

It wasn't looking so good for me.

This is Margie and Chad looking for the trail.

The views and vegetation were fantastic though.

Obviously, we made it out. After 3 1/2 hours we came out of the canyon onto a Jeep 4x4 road that of course we had to hike straight up to return to civilization. You would have thought the three of us had been in a POW camp the way we were talking. My jello legs miraculously kept going.....

when I get out of here....I'm going to have a burger and fries and a really cold beer.
I considered at this point going Goonies style down this waterfall into the water.

I was completely late for a coaches meeting where I was a representative for our school. Yea, who thought up THAT bright idea?
I came in the door smelling like wet dog, wobbly legged and willing to eat anything that I didn't have to chase.

'Thanks for entrusting me with your children"

2007-04-03T19:42:00.000-06:00

Who knew that someone would actually name all of the little bumps inside the base of your skull? Honestly, I think I can feel one of them pulsating right now.

Ok, since my desperate housewife is unreachable, I suppose I'll tell my blind date story to you, and then you can go tell her. While your at it tell her to blog something. Anything.

Ok, so my date was a set up by my coach friend Michelle and her husband. We met up at their BBQ...I was in my casual jeans and a tshirt.....He arrived in a pressed button down white oxford, pin strip suit pants, and shiny black shoes. Wow. On a Saturday BBQ. I see the investment banker.

That's ok. I can totally look past that. I'll just think...young sucessfull stock broker..

The part I couldn't look past is when he handed me a framed back and white picture from Michelle's mantle. I look down at a very sweet professionally done photo of she and her husband holding the firecracker 2 year old who was obviously medicated for this picture.

In that second the firecracker ran high pitch screaming between us. I look up thinking .... I never knew my ears could hear that pitch.... looking around to see if Teva is in convulsions somewhere in the corner.... He reaches out taking the picture back and says:

'I am so jealous. This picture is exactly what I want.'

I'm sure I stood there for a good 30 seconds with my jaw (mandible) wide open before i finally could make a sound. I squeeked out

'I need to find my wine'

THAT kiddos is the moment I started planning my escape.

Please don't get me wrong. I adore kids. I'm sure one day I'll have a few that live in my house. But seriously. Tell me on a first date that you want a wife and kid and a black and white photograph on the mantle, and you can set the stopwatch on my rubber burning exit.

2007-04-01T10:20:00.000-06:00

I am rather enjoying the 'hub' of GJ. Smack dab in the middle of the dessert, its a great stopping point on the way to wherever it is your going. Keva and Jake were on there way to Utah, and stopped in for a night at the hobbit house. I only say that bc Jake is 6'7 and my ceilings arch.

Poor Guy could barely walk in here.

20 Minutes of them following me around Fruita, I finally hit 18 Road and they got some bike time in before they had to hit the road.

Then at 5 I had a blind date. My first blind date ever. He wasn't really blind. I was ready for blindness.....or at least an eye patch. He had neither. Two perfectly fine eyes.

*sigh*

Truffles and coffee breakfast

2007-03-30T07:58:00.000-06:00

It's been a long week, but my first round of exams are over. In celebration, Heather (plus 2 baby boys in her belly), Robin and I went to the Girls on The Run Fundraiser.

Give this girl some wine and a silent auction and there is bound to be trouble. We, of course, were the last table to leave, and scored all of the leftover desert. From across the room I hear

'Amanda! Do you want a plate of leftovers?'

'A plate? I have tupperware in the car!'

Seriously, whatever I spent in the silent auction, was totally made up in cheesecake and truffles.

I have zero shame.

On another note, a company called Sears Automotive seems to be taking their sweet time admitting their mistake with Beck. They offered me a rental car.....starting today I'm telling them I want an RV to replace my camper. Perhaps a tour bus?

Amandaland on tour. Sweet Jesus I could be a reality TV show.

My date this weekend

2007-03-25T14:21:00.000-06:00

I'll see you kids on Wednesday. Unless you want to talk hepatic flexures or barium enemas.....which trust me, its not as funny as you think.

How we met

2007-03-23T08:54:00.000-06:00

In watching GMA this morning I heard one of the common couples question:

'How did you meet?'

And since I have no other stories to tell you, and 3 exams to study for, I thought I would kill some time and share my favorite 'how we met' story.

You know the Youngin story, and Ponch story, which are both funny 'how we met', but.....

My personal favorite, going way back, post blog.....Garret. It may not have lasted long at all, but he and I met outside of a bar in Winter Park. My second night in the ski town to be exact....so November of 2000, when I was injury free and a ski bum. Lack of oxygen at 9100 feet gave me no preparation at all for how quickly I was to get drunk that night. Despite the fact that I was just getting out of my undergrad drinking days, and had done a keg stand at my going away party three days prior.

Outside of The Pub, the snow was coming down like I had never seen before, and my upstairs neighbor Dave and I start talking about ninjas. (I always believed that I would make a good ninja) One thing leads to another, and under the hypnozation of the snow I lay out the....

'You pick him Dave and I bet that I can jump and kick over his head.'

Poor guy never saw it coming.

Dave grabbed Garret who was the next poor sap to stumble out of the bar. I stepped back in the ice and snow, closing one eye to size him up....or stop the falling snow and tawaca combo from making me dizzy.....one or the other....

I took one big step, swung my arms, twisted, lost all footing on the ice and kicked the guy straight in the face. Blood went everywhere, and I landed on my back thankful that I wasn't full air spinning anymore. Dave and I were laughing hysterically, Garret...not so much. He was screaming something about me breaking his nose.

But that is honestly how we met.

If all else fails.....

2007-03-20T19:30:00.000-06:00

I just love this. Click on the picture to enlarge.

Still no movement on the bus. Insurance has been filed by the 'oops we forgot to put oil in your bus' company. Wednesday I am calling for the rental car that they offered me, but didn't take because I have the Jetta. Maybe if I start spending their money they will start moving faster. Heather wants me to ask for a new washer and dryer. Hummmm....

Good Night Nurse

2007-03-18T11:40:00.000-06:00

These fools made me shoot green beer out of my nose last night.

At around 3am my stomach made this hideous noise that woke me up......

I think it was screaming something about green dye #7......

Anyways, I rolled over onto something.....what the hell is my phone doing in the bed?

Oh god no please don't tell me I talked to someone last night. Oh call history....Shit.

I rolled back over and came face to face with a granola bar on my pillow.

Good Night St. Paddy's Day Nurse.

2007-03-15T21:17:00.000-06:00

I was dragging my feet today....not really wanting to go pay money to pick up both of my cars. In fact I had procrastinated until around noon and even had a beer with lunch to lessen the sting of the bill.
When I went to talk to the bus mechanic the topic immediately goes to engine replacement.

'Shit you have got to be kidding me'

Nope. You can see here (as we are looking down into the engine from the back of the bus) that is where your rod used to be....

'And whats all that?'

'Well, normally you couldn't see in there, but this (hands me a chunk of metal) blew off and that is the inside of your engine.'

'Oh.'

He gives me this look that I can recognize as the idiot look when he says....'There should be oil in there. Next time check your oil.'

'Excuse me? There was no oil in there?'

'Nope. If there was oil, it would have blown everywhere. See here....dry. Made your engine seize up. Your lucky you didn't catch on fire'

But that's impossible. I just had the oil changed yesterday. See look, I still have the receipt in the front.

'Looks like someone forgot to fill you up with oil after they drained it.'

Oh hell to the no. Out came the black woman as I grab a mini box and start throwing broken bus engine parts in it...'looks like somebody is going to get fired and buy me a new engine.

Star swipe to me going into a very popular nationwide store with my box of metal and my receipt from yesterday. Black woman out in FULL force. After all, you know the flack I got from so many people last night and today?
'Well that's what you get for driving a 79 bus. meh me meh meh me.'
I honestly started to question the greatness Beck and my safety. Maybe it is a bad idea that i am by myself....

I walk in and find 5 men all in company work shirts looking at me. A take big strong black woman steps towards them.

'Can we help you?'....another turns around....'Back again?'

Yea. May I speak with the manager.

(the guy in the middle speaks) That would be me. (he doesn't move, and either does anyone around him)

Ok then. So yesterday, you guys changed my oil, and drained it and put a filter on, and didn't put the oil back in. Here is a box of parts from my blown engine. (I hold it out as they all look down.....quite a few ohh's are added here and then everyone scattered.)

'Lets come into my office'

Um, ya think?

2007-03-14T20:16:00.000-06:00

Did you ever read that book when you were little about the no good very bad day?

My Jetta got the window shot out by a bb last night

I was delayed leaving for Moab until 2

10 miles into Utah something blew up in the bus. And when I say blew up I seriously mean smoking duck in the engine blew up.

I had no cell service where Beck blew up.

I sat on the side of the road for an hour until I was picked up by another VW bus with a family of 4 and a 3 legged dog.

Ohhhhh Beck!

2007-03-13T18:09:00.000-06:00

A minor glitch yesterday as I was tuning up Beck for a road trip.....

By tuning of course I mean driving it to get the oil changed.

Sometimes, when I'm driving the bus, the turn signals don't work. I found if I turn the hazards ON, then OFF, the turn signals will work again.

Don't question the madness. It just works.

Star swipe to yesterday when i pulled the hazard lights and lost all electrical.

Awwwee Shiiiiit.

Two tree hugging hippies later, it's unanimous...

No one knows why it isn't working.

The front dash has been removed, the piece I pulled apart has now been zip tied back together, and all I have is hazards. I debate on whether or not I can live with this permanently.... Watch the mileage....use hand motions out the window when driving.....

OK maybe not.

So I drive out to a new mechanic. And explain what I did, and forewarn him about the zip ties....

An hour later I have all lights and gauges. Turns out that thing was broken....no matter how many zip ties to hold it together, it was never going to complete the circuit.

The mechanic says to me: Ya know I'm impressed, most bus owners come it with everything totally torn apart and an mess....you actually knew what was wrong.

'Yea, well, I'm not stoned'

Good point.

Elevation ummmm?

2007-03-10T16:53:00.000-07:00

It's Spring Break 2007 boys and girls. And I am
gluten for punishment.

As if Thursdays treadmill 'incident' wasn't painful enough.

Hey lets strap in some super skinny skis with race wax on them and see if we cant seriously frighten other people on the trail!

I look like a gangley chicken trying to skate ski.

Look at the dog. Poor thing thinks "Lady, I do NOT know CPR, and I can NOT drive a car. Pull it together crazy chicken legs!"

Spring break 07 Whooo hoooo! I have a week to kill and

the plan thus far is.....
get out as much as possible......
write a paper.....
study for some tests.....
and get the bus on the road.

Sweet.

I do love college spring break.

treadmill dance

2007-03-08T18:32:00.001-07:00

2007-03-08T17:08:00.000-07:00

In an effort to encourage my high set goals of a triathlon this year, I have been spending more time then usual at the college rec center. Now, I know what your thinking.....college rec center, and every image that has popped into your mind, I actually see the live version of.

With my I-pod delicately shoved in my ears and music a pumpin I have to constantly fight the urge to sing out loud.

They can't hear the music. You are not a pop star. Now get through the song and don't throw up during crunches....

The treadmill is usually an off limits machine for me. If I want to run, I will go outside. That has always been my train of thought. Today? No train. Not only did I get on the treadmill, I was slamming with not only adrenaline, but Rage Against the Machine when I did. Still resisting the urge to sing loudly with the fast pace, I get a few minutes of fast walking in, and then slam my finger down on the speed button. I just couldn't stop myself.

Maybe 2 minutes into my all out sprint speed I realized:

a) This is waaaaay to fast for me. Dear god I'm going to break the mile record if I don't slow down.

b) Crap I'm going to have a heart attack.

Somewhere in my lack of oxygen to the brain I reach up to the slow down control button and tangle my ipod wires on my arm knocking it from the safe haven of a cup holder. My cute little green i pod is taking turns bouncing off of the 80 mph treadmill and the back of my calf. Still sprinting like a crackhead running from the police, I'm now trying to keep the pace, swing the ipod back towards me using the cords from my ears, all the while trying to focus my eyes on where that damn button has hid.......about maybe 3 minutes of flailing arms and legs one earpiece falls out I realize......

I am yelling out profanities.

Loud because of the volume of music in my ears, and very bad...very very bad words.

Mid 'Oh you mother'...I hear myself because the other earpiece is out of my ear from the wild swinging of wires, and screaming metal is no longer hiding my vulgarness from me. Still at a wild sprint, my split seconds are met by
....the price of my ipod as it continues to take a beating....
....the visual of every home video that I have seen of people flying off the ends of treadmills and slamming into walls....
....and the shocking looks I am getting from the ENTIRE line of people on treadmills and ellipticals to my left.

The profanity doesnt stop. Sweet.

Thank god for the ability of my brain to recognize a giant red panic STOP button directly in the center of the treadmill. I smacked that sucker topping it off by yelling

'NO WAMMIES!'

Instant spaghetti legs as my trama slows. Everybody's in on the show now. I'm gasping for air off the treadmill now, elbows bent with my hands locked on arms over my head. Still only having the wires of the ipod it's smacking me in the stomach, arms have lost all feeling, all the while knowing I have yelled out every bad word ever made, plus made some nice combinations. It ended, and I am instantly faced with the fact that if confronted I am going to have to claim turrets and continue my workout yelling out bad words.

I am committed to this plan and OK with it.

Dork of 1999

2007-03-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

Just recently I heard from a guy I knew in college. Actually when I first met him I had a HUGE crush on him. Amy will testify. The two of us went up on a curb and into oncoming traffic because he was running down the street without a shirt on. Almost killed the both of us.

Good god that boy glistened in the sun.

Ahem. Sorry.

Hearing from him reminded me of a funny story. To be more specific, of one of my MANY uncool moments in front of boys. A time when I was neither as smooth nor as cool as I am now.. Oh please god let me be cooler by this now.

Anyways I don't have anything to write about so I thought you might enjoy a story......

Starswipe to 1999

South Carolina nights can have that warm/cool feeling around 9pm. That: you can't sleep because it's too warm and there is electricity in the air, but outside a storm is coming, so there is a mysterious coolness to the dark. Something about that pre-storm weather always made me want to run. (note* take into consideration that the pup and I were both 8 years younger then)
We took to the storm, but no more then two blocks from returning home, South Carolina turned on another thing it was famous for. Torrential downpours.

THAT folks is how I found myself under the awning of his apartment.

Here is where my cool level came into play when he invited me in until the rain let up. We chatted for just a bit as we knew each other from being students in the art department, although he was in the type A graphic design, and I was a first year photography major, a mess of kayos with a white puppy that followed me everywhere..

In my 'oh my god I can't believe I am in HIS house', he started explaining something about his brother working on a star wars movie, and

'yea, uh huh, I know exactly what your talking about with the spaceships, and sure the TS 180.....yea I know which one your talking about, its amaaaazing'

I'm such a dork.

Somewhere in all of my trying to make it believable blabber, he shows me (note* I'm getting the 10 foot apartment tour at this point, and am standing in his bedroom drenched and looking like a skinny wet rat) a collection of star wars space ship memorabilia on single shelves assorting the wall.

'Oh yea, and that one is soooo rare, uh huh'

Then I did it. I reached up with my uncool skinny drenched in monsoon water hand and touched a spaceship. And the shelf collapsed. Onto the shelf below it, and to the one below it. Seriously, spaceships were whizzing past my head as I screamed out and tried to catch anything that was falling in the downpour of star wars.

Wait was that chewbacca?

Damn it i knew something, but when the rare 780T-star whizzer or whatever the hell its called, hit the floor I knew that my moment was lost. I went to speak and something else crashed behind me. In my shocked-panicked- I wish I could combust into flams on the spot, I opted to put my hand over my mouth and stand there wide eyed looking at him. He said nothing, just stood there with his mouth open as I started slowly backing my way out of the room, crunching broken aircraft as I went.

I opted for the monsoon over spending another moment in the embarrasing cronicals of amandaland, quickly deciding that my crush was over the second i shook a wing of something off my running shoe as I welcomed the rain.

Days going by

2007-03-03T16:05:00.000-07:00

Days like today serve as a reminder for me how much things can change in time.

A picture perfect before and after of a year.

The good and the bad, and even the 80 year old man that lapped me in the pool AGAIN this week.

Me, the pup, and everyone else in Grand Junction decided to take advantage of the lift from the cold we've had for the last FOREVER, and headed out the front door. Mainly just a need for a wind breaker, I drastically over layered and hit the road in search of some clarity from the overcrowding of radiation information residing in my brain. It's all becoming just one big run on sentence.

After climbing up the switchbacks, I'm fairly confident that the overcrowding was taken over by a massive slip and slide of sweat coming from my skull, and oddly enough, my brain feels much clearer as a result.

Weeks are flying by, and if it were'nt for the pile of clothes and scrubs migrating it's way from one end of my bedroom to the other, I'd swear this week was the last.

A year is a year, and I'll take the new changes. Regardless of how my body feels, or what my heart yearns for. The wise words of 4 year old Galen Mayfield as we sat on swing sets in cadence one night still crosses my mind. Having not said a word, he drug his feet to a stop and looked up at the sky.......

'we're not getting any littler ya know'

Do you smell french fries?

2007-02-27T17:12:00.000-07:00

Ok ok. So I have been waiting all week to do this whole car washing photo shoot like Jessica Simpson so that you can see the pictures of the new car. But it's been cold, and snowing and windy, and everything that does not make you want to run outside in a bikini.

It would have been more like big puffy jacket, fuzzy hat and gloves. Which actually is a good look for me......

So here is the latest in my vw collection. I love that despite my kicking and screaming in growing up, my insurance company is giving me a discount as a multi-car family.

Hum. Does this mean that the dog can drive?

Now I know the burning question is......are we going to smell french fries as you drive by little girl?

Not quite yet. The bio diesel is as hippy as we can get right now. As much as I would love to pull the conversion......

A) I have not idea what I'm doing

B) Sitting outside of the $1.25 Chinese restaurant in an alley, with a bucket, waiting for hot fry grease......worries not only me, but the dog too.

'What are they cooking that they can sell it for $1.25?!?!' She asks.

So for now we'll keep on the bio diesel. And I'll keep shaving my legs.

Practicly perfect in every way

2007-02-25T15:33:00.000-07:00

My seester Tiffany and I were chatting this morning about weird little things about the two of us. By the end of the IM it turned into potential postsecret postcards.

TK what is a weird thing about me?

Me: your food doesn't ever touch

TK: good one

Me: why?

TK: I'm making a list: Sometimes I do this. It's one of the weird things on the list.

Me: used tissues freak you out

TK: true

Me: yet you work in a hospital where people shit themselves

TK: excellent point

Me: do me do me

TK: Hmmmmmmmmmm...

TK: You wear a sweatshirt and headband every morning. It's part of the routine of you waking up

Me: im a maniac

TK: You are a serial monogamist... one boyfriend at a time, never really dating more than one at a time.

Me: how is that considered a flaw?

TK: not a flaw. Just different than the majority.
I'm having a hard time coming up with weird things about you

Me: me too about you, we're practically perfect in every way

TK: We are practically perfect.

Me: I owned a gallery but secretly want to buy artwork at Hobby Lobby and take it apart and sign a fake name so people think its legit, and then hang it in my house.

TK: that's a good one!

Me: don't tell, it shames me

TK: I use more Mrs. Dash products in basic cooking than most people. I have 5 different varieties and I have a secret love of instant mashed potatoes with lots of butter.

Me: i knew that

TK: I also like tuna mixed into Kraft mac & cheese

Me: Barfing noises

TK: I know. But I love it.

Me: I put Cheetos in Ramen noodles once. I think I stopped smoking pot that next morning

TK: good move

Me: I crossed an unspoken culinary munchies line that day

TK: I can see that. Cheetos must get awfully spongy in Ramen.

Me: no they melt, and then its this cheesy gob in the noodles

TK: gross

Me: god it makes me sick just thinking about it. Oh. And when I'm studying something hard I put on a tight hat in hopes of holding in information. I truly believe it helps.

(TK was gone at this point, but knowing my sister she would have said..)

TK: That must be the reasoning of the remaining Cheetos brain cells

24 on 24

2007-02-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

Ohhhh Miss Rockstar Amy had her golden birthday last night. I'll be honest, I was waiting for the 3 am DD call to come and pick up the party crew with Beck the Wonder Bus....or possibly bail her out of jail....

Ahh to be 24 again.....wait....maybe not. My belly boils tequila just thinking about it.

I'm sure she was a total rockstar as the night rolled on, minus the trashing a hotel room and having a dead hooker to bury. But we all celebrate in different ways I guess.

College....Gotta love it

2007-02-20T18:38:00.000-07:00

Can you believe after being back in school for 3 weeks, that we get a 'winter break'?

Good thing because I was exhausted.

It took me two days to get out of town......mainly because when I got to Vail Pass, I70 was shut down both ways due to 'adverse conditions', and Berthoud pass was avalanche bombing. *sigh*

So I woke up the next morning and was rewarded with a new foot of snow on the mountain.

So here are some pictures from my 'winter break'......

Little Boarding......

Little Tubing..... (slick, so very slick and fast)

Little Snowmobiling....

A whole lot of laughing, And lots and lots of not studying.

Ummm, no thanks, I think I'll pass on the free kid.....

Oh, and I got rid of the Jeep and bought a VW TDI.

Pictures of THAT will come soon.....

Side note

2007-02-14T17:19:00.000-07:00

In-between classes this week, I ran into the house to catch a bit of Dr. Phil as I was scarfing down lunch. There is a Dr. Phil house. A Dr. Phil house people. I'm hooked. There was a woman living in the house who is a stripper, and two other couples were confronting her about her ummm profession.

In the heat of the argument one woman belted out:

"I would rather ride a bike for a living then be a stripper!"

Oh it made my day....and made me shoot Snapple out my nose.