Who is a big slacker?

Ok it's me it's me. If it makes you feel any better my laundry is being neglected too. I don't have any incredibly funny stories to tell you (shocking I know). Heather let me borrow her Air Force jumpsuit for Halloween, so I went as maverick. That was pretty sweet, although after about 20 minutes into waiting tables in a onezie, I realized maybe a little hotter then I wanted.
I did however get in some sweet movie quotes throughout the night.


My wall is fixed thanks to Ponch and his dad.....who I think might be Bob Villa in disguise. I of course attempted to look domestic, and baked oatmeal cookies while they were patching the wall.

Hum.

I can't find any baking soda for the batter other then the kind that is in the box in my freezer soaking up all of the nasty smells.

I used it, and yes, it was disgusting. Who knew that oatmeal cookies could taste like leftover pasta and fish?!?

So I did what any girl trying to cover up a disaster in a blue apron would do......

I started adding other ingredients to try and cover up the taste. My oatmeal cookies became....
Oatmeal, chocolate chip, cinnamon, craison cookies. Very little batter was left after I added everything.

They were still bad. Ponch ate one anyway and they humored me by taking a plate home. I hope he and his dad are playing a pickup game of street hockey using the cookies as a puck. For god sake no one should have to eat those.

Domestication. Maybe I should look that word up in the dictionary

Quick! Help me hide the body!

Looking at the giant hole in my wall every time I walk in and out of the house makes me shake my head in disbelief. I have a plan to fix it....and that plan starts on Saturday. Unfortunately I woke up this morning with my comforter pulled over my head, 2 quilts, and a whimpering voice trying to get my wall chewing dog to climb into bed and keep me warm.

Hum. Maybe the heat is busted?

Yea. So of course it is. I need a maintenance man in the house and I have a giant hole on the side of my door (the ONLY door). Um hum. Yea.

So I do what every reasonable person does and push the lever all the way to the right (as if to remind the thermostat of it's job) and rush to class. At noon....Nothing. Actually colder in my apartment then outside. Ah crikey. Is that hole getting bigger?!??!

So I talk to Heather.

'What the hell am I going to do?'

Cover it.

'Cover it? What the hell am I going to cover it with? Its a 3 and a half foot by foot hole directly next to my door! How do you hide that?'

Cover it.

The repair man called. He's 10 minutes out. Then the cop showed up at the door. (Mom gasped). The cop? Yes the cop. And no he wasn't showing up because of the property damage.

(we will call him Ponch from now on)

What are you doing?

(I'm frantic) I need to cover this up. The maintenance guy is on the way. He's friends with the landlord.

After his initially look of confusion, Ponch straight up jumped into action. No questions asked. The end result (took 4 minutes),

remove painting, hang long coat from nail
place full size ironing board against wall
move TV table against wall
angle TV.

Covered at eye level. Sweet. Heat is fixed, and I got a cop to help me hide evidence.

Nice.

Upset stomach set for 10

My sweet little innocent never done a bad thing in her life 11 year old dog, ate through the wall today.

When I tried to open the front door it couldn't be pushed open all the way due to the amount of drywall and insulation littering the floor.

We are talking from floor to hip (how did she even get up that high?!?) and 18 inches over.

If I had a camera to show you a picture your immediate response would be....Holy shit.

Having never done anything bad before either, she didn't know to run and hide, she just sat there, my running hat covered in white dust clenched in her mouth....

rraarruuuuggghhhh rrah

So.

Anyone want to tell me how to replace a massive section of drywall before I get evicted?

Show me your bones

Whoa!

Where have I been?

Ah, don't you worry little ones, just studying away trying to get through yet another week. There is a very big exam on Monday and I am using my super powers analyze peoples appendages as I wait on them.

"Excuse me....Your scaphoid (also known as your Navicular) looks swollen, after all, it is the most commonly broken bone of your wrist (carpals).....Do you mind if I position it really quickly?....yes yes I see that your out of tea....please hold still.

Um. I'm going to make a shirt that says: Talk Nerdy to Me

I'm back home now. If you've seen the national news, yes yes, the mountains did get 18 inches of snow. Sweet sweet pow pow. As I was driving out of WP, I watched countless people loading up there cars with skis and boards. Crazy bastards. 18 inches just covers up the rocks.

Here are my ladies. My Valley support group. Willing to lend a shoulder when I cry, order countless drinks until I stop crying, and drop everything to get to Boulder and help me hide the body if I need. Love them.

The trip into Boulder went well. I had Rage Against the Machine pumping me up, nodding along, and felt like an athlete prepping for the olympics. My adrenaline was so high, that when I pulled up to my friends house and saw my ex's car, it all boiled over and for a second I thought I was having a heart attack. About 300 large eye blinks later and a vice to get my mouth shut, a flood of reality came over me, and I took the jeep out of park and drove on. Resisting all urge to ram his car as I drove away.

No no inner black woman. I need to save you for later.

I'd love to say it's all down hill from here, but I'm pretty realistic in knowing that court cases don't roll that way. So as it all takes it's course, I'll just hum along....hi ho, hi ho, it's off to class I go.......

Leaving the Valley

I'll write more when I'm home, but I thought that I would give you a smackeling of where I was yesterday.....

Rotation A

I'm off very quickly this morning. If I had a camera you would see me leaving for my first day of clinical. My cute little all white 'I'm a student don't trust me with anything important' outfit. Then I would take a picture of the giant hospital that I'm walking into and possibly the bushes that I'm going to throw up in. I'm nervous.

Lets hope I don't make this face all day.

This weekend is Fall break for us (I love college). So I'm headed up to the mountains to see my ladies, and then the front range to get some business done.

Wish me luck.

Short Bus

Today was the marking of exactly half way through the semester. I turn my nose up to you long bus. Obviously not my ride. Short bus is all me. And I never travel without my helmet.

These midterms are smacking me around like a pimp.

When I left class yesterday, I sat down in the hall before riding home. The big guy looked over at me....Hey, your rocking back and forth like an autistic child'.

Can't speak, eyes glazed over, rocking back and forth. Yup, autistic.

I'm a pretty pretty princess

Tiffany has more photos.

The toast: (which was actually never done bc I left it at the hotel.....but thats ok. I'm not sure Tiffany could have counted to ten anyways. Ah who am I kidding, me either)

I'll give you 8 of them: (A is me T is my sister)

1. (A.) Full Nelson
*that's a wrestling move for any Canadians or foreigners reading
2. (T) Half Nelson
3. (A&T) How to wiggle out of a full and half nelson
4. (T)All of the words to Beastie Boys Brass Monkey
5. (A) Counter clockwise is the direction that your hair swirls in the toilet
6. (T)Legal definition of deposition, (A) and what not to say in one....CASE CLOSED!!
7. (T) Ryan has and will always have the final say in all of our relationships
8. (A) He also introduced us to the leading men in our lives......(T) Jose Cuervo (A) Captain Morgan

So I came up with a plan in Pitt. Somehow in the drinking fog I found clarity. My family does that to me sometimes. But I need to get some studying done to even come close to have the plan work. Don't worry....You'll see what happens, you think for a second you'll stop checking in? Honey please.

Exactly as I hoped it to be

I'm home I'm home!

My stomach doesn't feel very good, I've had 3 hours of sleep and I'm about to go cram a bunch of caffeine into my system and study up for tomorrows midterm. Tiffany will have pictures loaded soon, and I will steal them for your viewing pleasure.

Quick update. Erin looked beautiful, and Ryan was as handsome as his high school prom. Just with less hair. There was an open bar, and I don't think that Tiffany, Dan or I will be getting a Christmas present in the next 10-20 years because of our alcohol consumption.

If it makes you feel at all better Ryan, no one felt like a pretty pretty princess this morning.

Mom threw a spectacular rehearsal party, and has me thinking maybe I'll call on her for my graduation gig. That is if I stop typing and go get my studying in. Don't worry, I'll come up for air some time.

The wait would kill you I know

Ok. I had fun. Copper is funny, and still cute. I was upgraded from ice cream to sushi, which has got to be a result of my whitty phone banter.

Plus he picked me up in a bitchin camero. Really old, really sweet restored black camero. Really fast. Bitchin.

Then he gave me a hug at the end of the date.

What!! What the hell was that? Who hugs? I thought the rule was go for the kiss and potentially get slapped, or walk away. Go big or go home right? Awkward. Lost points.

Thats all I have to say about my date. Today I'm off to to see the fam via Denver, Chicago. & 7 hours later..... Pittsburgh

I'll be in for Ryans wedding.

Black dress....check.

Notecards for mondays midterms.......check.

Tiffany will be there with her camera. Thats right boys and girls. We'll see each other again very very soon. (I'll be in the black dress)

Packing the A Game

On Saturday at work my Boston friend comes running up to me.....

Amanda!
What!
Oh muy god, you arh never going to believe this (bad spelling is my attempt to write in her accent)
Tell me tell me

So this boyh thaat I have had a crush on forhever comes in to eat last night with his older brother. And they sit in my section and I am totally drooling over him.

(ah, I have created a mini stalker) I giggle.

And then his brother asks me....
Is there a blonde that works here, short hair?

(and she says) Yea, a couple.

I think her name is Amanda -------, lives above a -------- office. Cute?

(and she says) Whoa. Thats a LOT of information to now about someone.

Oh, yea. No, not like that. I'm a cop. I went to her house once.

(I gasp! What!) She keeps telling the story....

He says, Yea, apparently she told someone I know about it and said that I was cute.

(WHAT!! Dying inside)

He asked Boston some info on me, and here now 3 days later

He called.

I have a mini date tomorrow with the cop who showed up at my house at 3am with me wielding a paring knife.