Get away from my dead cat!!

So I'm having a very zen moment during my morning yoga when my gaze goes out the window and I am distracted by five very large buzzards dive bombing and landing next to the garage. For a moment I think nothing, then somewhere in the clarity of the crescent moon pose it hits me. buzzards outside of fence=good. Buzzards landing = something dead. Lance the cat outside of fence living in garage=bad. Buzzards=dead cat. Bad.

This is the course my brain goes.

Warrior two took on a whole new meaning as I fly down the stairs in my zen like outfit and run out the door screaming nooooO! I hit the gate breaking land speed records, climbing up the hill waving my arms screaming 'get away from my dead cat!!!'.

About the time I got to where I thought the dead cat would be, the buzzards were off the ground and now just circling around above. And I cant find the dead cat. But I am still screaming at the buzzards to go away, throwing the occasional rock. As I continue to walk around in the trees, I start to realize....I'm about to see a dead cat. Despite my experience in Anatomy with this, I am finding myself unprepared. So I stop, and take in a few breaths and decide, that I HAVE to find the dead cat. I can not leave his body out here to be pecked at by the buzzards. With a solid 210 heart rate, and watching the buzzards above, I try and stand as still as possible scanning the bumpy juniper tree yard. And then from behind me the crude loud meow of my not really dead cat Lance.

I am not kidding people when I say I jumped a good eleven feet in the air looking like I had just been tazered in the back. And Lance, apparently awaken from his morning siesta by me screaming about a dead cat trotted over from the garage. The next few minutes I spent bent over trying to recover from a heart attack as not dead cat weaved his way through my legs. Stupid cross eyed cat looked up at me and saw the buzzards in the sky and ran back to the garage.