Don't take it personally I'm not talking to anyone right now.

I don't like change. I've become content where I'm at, and frankly I feel like I've gone through enough of it already this year. This may be my craziness coming out here, but I feel like the second I take a deep breath and become accepting of my life, suddenly it gets a flick from the side and I'm knocked on my ass all over again. I'll trust you to hold the football, just please don't move it when I go to kick. Damn it not again.

I did get a message from my grant advisor, who I have a conference call with on Monday. I haven't lost the grant.....Yet. Her voice mail suggestion was as follows: Colorado has 2 other rad tech programs. Call them, see if I can still apply and if accepted get my ass to either one of those schools. She also said that there were some other options we could go over and will do that on Monday. Right now I just feel like an ass for betting that it would work out. I am so bad at gambling and I put a lot on the line with this and just lost the first round. I've gone ahead and opted out of the education route. I know it was the fallback plan, and as lovely as summers off would be, I have no desire to do it. I know what your thinking 'but your great with kids'....yea, your kids, but I wouldn't have your kids. I'll have satans spawn year after year. Amys right, it takes a special kind of person to be a teacher, and that's not me.

Mesa doesn't offer up a masters program either, so I can't sell them on that and stay to get my Masters. To remain in GJ on this grant they would have to pay for another year of me at Mesa in hope that I get accepted into the program next year. I don't know if that's even realistic. I'll know more by Tuesday. If I do have to go it wont be until the summer, so I could at least finish out the training with my girls, and finish out this semester in school. I am totally bummed, but I'm guessing that you know that.