Practicly perfect in every way

My seester Tiffany and I were chatting this morning about weird little things about the two of us. By the end of the IM it turned into potential postsecret postcards.

TK what is a weird thing about me?

Me: your food doesn't ever touch

TK: good one

Me: why?

TK: I'm making a list: Sometimes I do this. It's one of the weird things on the list.

Me: used tissues freak you out

TK: true

Me: yet you work in a hospital where people shit themselves

TK: excellent point

Me: do me do me

TK: Hmmmmmmmmmm...

TK: You wear a sweatshirt and headband every morning. It's part of the routine of you waking up

Me: im a maniac

TK: You are a serial monogamist... one boyfriend at a time, never really dating more than one at a time.


Me: how is that considered a flaw?


TK: not a flaw. Just different than the majority.
I'm having a hard time coming up with weird things about you

Me: me too about you, we're practically perfect in every way

TK: We are practically perfect.

Me: I owned a gallery but secretly want to buy artwork at Hobby Lobby and take it apart and sign a fake name so people think its legit, and then hang it in my house.

TK: that's a good one!

Me: don't tell, it shames me

TK: I use more Mrs. Dash products in basic cooking than most people. I have 5 different varieties and I have a secret love of instant mashed potatoes with lots of butter.

Me: i knew that

TK: I also like tuna mixed into Kraft mac & cheese

Me: Barfing noises

TK: I know. But I love it.

Me: I put Cheetos in Ramen noodles once. I think I stopped smoking pot that next morning

TK: good move

Me: I crossed an unspoken culinary munchies line that day

TK: I can see that. Cheetos must get awfully spongy in Ramen.

Me: no they melt, and then its this cheesy gob in the noodles

TK: gross

Me: god it makes me sick just thinking about it. Oh. And when I'm studying something hard I put on a tight hat in hopes of holding in information. I truly believe it helps.

(TK was gone at this point, but knowing my sister she would have said..)

TK: That must be the reasoning of the remaining Cheetos brain cells

24 on 24

Ohhhh Miss Rockstar Amy had her golden birthday last night. I'll be honest, I was waiting for the 3 am DD call to come and pick up the party crew with Beck the Wonder Bus....or possibly bail her out of jail....

Ahh to be 24 again.....wait....maybe not. My belly boils tequila just thinking about it.

I'm sure she was a total rockstar as the night rolled on, minus the trashing a hotel room and having a dead hooker to bury. But we all celebrate in different ways I guess.

College....Gotta love it

Can you believe after being back in school for 3 weeks, that we get a 'winter break'?

Good thing because I was exhausted.

It took me two days to get out of town......mainly because when I got to Vail Pass, I70 was shut down both ways due to 'adverse conditions', and Berthoud pass was avalanche bombing. *sigh*

So I woke up the next morning and was rewarded with a new foot of snow on the mountain.

So here are some pictures from my 'winter break'......

Little Boarding......

Little Tubing..... (slick, so very slick and fast)

Little Snowmobiling....

A whole lot of laughing, And lots and lots of not studying.

Ummm, no thanks, I think I'll pass on the free kid.....

Oh, and I got rid of the Jeep and bought a VW TDI.

Pictures of THAT will come soon.....

Side note

In-between classes this week, I ran into the house to catch a bit of Dr. Phil as I was scarfing down lunch. There is a Dr. Phil house. A Dr. Phil house people. I'm hooked. There was a woman living in the house who is a stripper, and two other couples were confronting her about her ummm profession.

In the heat of the argument one woman belted out:

"I would rather ride a bike for a living then be a stripper!"

Oh it made my day....and made me shoot Snapple out my nose.

Bloggers been killing me softly lately.

Not that I've been writing anything brilliant, but it still sucks when I take time out to fill you in on something quirky and publish it will not. So today it forced me into the 'new blogger'. Fingers crossed kiddos.

School has resumed its position kicking my ass. Arms up flailing ,after school bully, kicking ass that is. I wish I could get a picture of my face when the professor says something like:

"Now this molecular biology should all be a review for you, so were going to breeze through this just know that your adding radiation at the atomic level to everything"....and then she proceeds to click away at her slide show like her finger is having a seizure.

I immediately look to my braincells. Um guys? Anyone?

Hello?

So I have this coming week of big tests, and then a nice Winter break where I'm planning on getting out of town for a few days and playing tour guide to the beautiful CO.

Now on your left you'll see a big pile of snow......

Exactly how I felt in physics all last semester. Find other funny stuff here:
http://thefunniest.info/top.html
And yes, I know the one about dancing on a pole made you think of me.

Best intentions

Earlier this week as I was headed out to an afternoon class, I looked across the parking lot to see the kids next door packing up and moving out.

Damn. This is going to effect my internet stealing.

So I suck it up and call the local cable company, only to find that they can't come out till later in the week. Of course not. So Thursday I rush home from clinicals to meet the cable guy.

Now this poor guy when I open the door is immediatly greeted by the cat toy carrying dog doing her little fear me/ love me growl as she prances around in circles. Then, as he steps into the apartment, his right eye is almost taken out by the foil ball antenna on the TV. He looks over at me as he scratches his eye.

'Um, you don't have cable?'

'No, just the wireless hookup please. The whole package is really expensive, and anyways, I should be studying.'

So we walk back into the office area (aka the side of my bedroom) where the other cable line is for him to start instillation. Poor guy is still rubbing his eye, and I am still apologizing for it. He's in and out of the house for about twenty minutes, sets up the wireless and then walks into the living room and moves the TV. Starts cutting lines and attaching them to the wall.

"I went ahead and hooked up both lines for you. Looks like you study enough."

'Does this mean I don't need the bunny ears anymore?'

"I think it's best if those come down."

Could have been a humanitarian act for eyes everywhere, Could have been the fact that I was still in my white scrubs that you only see students in hospitals wear....or in porns. But all I know is I have over 60 channels now for free. There is a Golf channel, 2 Spanish channels, and a channel that's sole purpose is to tell me what's on the other channels.

Now I know his intentions were good, but this is really going to make it hard to focus on anatomy....Unless there is a medical channel..

Of all of the fine people I meet taking xrays, I thought I would share a good one with you today. Considering my blogs have been lame lately....if I even get around to typing one out that is.

So a chest x-ray looks similar to what you see on the left there. Minus the positioning errors, and massive amount of pneumonia from these that I took from the internet.

So a patient comes in with a distended belly, and his Dr. called for an abdomen/chest. Real character this guy. Scrawny. Quick wit. Tells me if he was younger and had two nickels to rub together he'd take me dancing.

I was quick to point out he might need more then two nickels.

So I take patient history.....anything I should know about?
Nope.
About 3 images into the scan, I poke my head out from behind my giant lead wall.

'Ummm. I'm looking at your images now....You want to tell me about when you got shot?!
You have bird shot pellets all over your chest.'

'Oh yea. Buddy shot me when we were hunting duck few yeaes ago.'

"Makes me think of I guy I dated once. I take it the duck got away?"

'Yea, I was more in it for the beer. Say can you see on there where my wife stabbed me?'

Sweet Jesus...'Um, not unless she left the knife behind.'

Death by Step Class

Ok. I have a confession. I am not as cool, athletic, or coordinated as I thought I was.

No way Amanda. You?

Yea. Seriously. I tried a step core class with Stephanie today at the gym. Frankly I don't care if you can't EVER bounce a quarter off of my butt, I will never be caught in a step class again.

Step cross tee, go left, knee up, into Charleston, noooow down, up, cha cha and double time to the right.

What the fu#*.......

The first 20 minutes of the class .... Swear to god....Was spent with me looking at me feet wondering at what point in my life I forgot which foot was my left, and which was my right. The rest of class I wondered if it was possible for your legs and butt to combust into flames and cause death. By the end of the hour I had lost all feeling in both legs and was blind in one eye.

Now how exactly would you start my eulogy with this as my cause of death?

Well school has officially been in session 2 days now, and tomorrow starts my new clinical rotation at a new hospital. Seriously. Like I didn't just find the cafeteria at the other hospital before I left.
20 minutes into lecture I found myself staring off into a box of cupcakes sitting on the row in front of me. When I came too I snapped my head I realized....It's way to early for me to be daydreaming in cupcake land. So I immediately checked my handy dandy organize your life Amanda planner....And counted......

22 days, 14 classes until Winter Break.

Big Head Todd and The Monsters!!

So last night a girlfriend and I went to see Big Head Todd and the Monsters. Now there were major pros and cons to the concert. Lets review them shall we.....

Pro: Kick ass seats above the sound board in a very small venue, so no one could block my shorty view.....

Con: Sound set up for an amphitheatre, when we were in a 200 person venue....My ears are still ringing this morning.

Pro: A red bull and vodka that helped me rock on far past my bedtime.

Con: Her 5 red bull and vodka's that made her into a phone calling, jacked up drunk that kept yelling 'Look at my boobs, don't I have great boobs!' and then immediately harassing the poor people next to us, seemingly clueless that there was a concert going on.

Pro: The fact that she was behind me, and the sound was so loud I didnt have to see or hear what else happened.

Con: When Big Head Todd came on after the opening band The Breaks, I turn around and she was gone.

Pro: More dancing room. Then meeting the members of The Breaks when they came into the reserved area that was just in front of me.

Con: The concert ending and still missing 1 Lindsay Lohan drunk friend.

Pro: Looking for my girl after the show and running into KC who took me back stage.

Pro Pro Pro!!!! Hanging out in the same space as BIG HEAD TODD AND THE MONSTERS!!!!

Kick ass people kick ass.

Oh yea, and con.....I never did find my friend.

Music Video:RESIGNATION SUPERMAN (by Big Head Todd And The Monsters)

Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone

Salesmen can kiss it

In an effort to join Tiffany in throwing rocks at boys, I managed to nail one straight in the balls today.

Jackass.

So I've been looking at cars. Two very specific cars actually, and in a confusing moment at the wrong dealership in Glenwood Springs, I found both at two different dealerships. So I test drive one, and just look at the other, as someone has misplaced the keys at the VW dealership.

So I make a call to the key loosing dealership this morning and talk to a salesman. A different salesman mind you, then the one I talked to when I was there. Essentially saying....I live an hour and a half away.....find out a lower price on this car, and email it to me. Make it worth my while to drive in to test drive your car, and there is a very good chance, with a good offer, I'll buy it.

He says ok, and gives me the price of the car before we hang up. I immediately think to myself....hum. That sounds different from what I was told earlier this week. Did I tell this guy that I've already been there to see the car?

And then I get this email. Directly copied and pasted from my email account, and following it is my response to him:

Hi Amanda,

Thank you for inquiring again on our Passat Wagon TDI. As I said this is a totally different car from the Golf, as far as handling, interior, and most important room. I talked to my manager about you and he is willing to discount $1,000.00 of the price. As I mention, consider you are purchasing a certified-pre-owned Volkswagen which means you would have an additional 2 years or 24,000 miles complete coverage, you won't get from a Ford store. I know you already looked at the car but I'm sending you some pics so you can look at it again. Let me know what other information you need, I'm here to help you.


Xavier.
970-387-5359

So I look at the pictures and low and behold, I KNEW there was a different (and lower) price then what I was quoted. In fact, it's plastered all over the windshield of the car!

Xavier,
Thank you for getting back to me. From this mornings conversation when the Wagon price was XXX.X, a $1000 discount, is not even close to getting me to drive up this weekend and buy the car. In fact, my recalling correctly, XXX.00 is what the 'sale' sticker on the front of the car was when I stood in front of it two days ago. I think you actually emailed me a picture of it. It is also listed on your website at XXXX. So please lets remind your manager that I have seen the car, researched it, and him giving me the 'special' offer, of the wagons actual selling price, is rather insulting. So..
Best of luck,
Amanda King

The shot to the balls came when I looked up the VW sales managers email on the internet and sent him a copy of the emails.

Public display of panic

3 days until school starts again, and I'm going kicking and screaming. Full on throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store kind of kicking and screaming.

Tawnya, Chris, Amy and I drove to Glenwood Springs yesterday and tried to relax as much as possible in the hot springs before all muscles go into spasms. Mr. Ulcer....I know your in there!

So with my 3 days left I am going to try and pull out a miracle and organize my schoolwork, clean the house, (and Im talking really clean the house, not just stare at it and wish it was clean), and spend one night doing nothing but watching movies and trying to finish my book.

Monday. Here I come.

I have no heat.

I have no effing heat.

And it's 4 degrees outside....and in my apartment.
The dog, who would be completely fine sleeping in a snowbank, stood by the bed at 3 am as I tossed and turned with a very concerned look on her face......

Mom. If you freeze to death....who is going to take me for walks.....and feed me?

Wizardry

Things I forgot (or thought I forgot) in SC......
Electric toothbrush
New Years Pants......hummmm
USB cable for pictures



So, despite my forgetfulness, I will pull from the archives of pictures, and promise to keep taking birth control, so that we may never add 'kid' to the list of things I left behind.

I'm doing nothing but killing time before school starts. Working on staring my kitchen clean....

So far, that hasn't worked out too well for me.

But we are getting plenty of snow....

I'm going through Southern Withdrawl.

Back to being a grown up

So I sit down at 10C on my flight home, and am pretty pleased with myself that I have the Emergency Exit row. I would be great at it. I eyeball the rest of the crew to see who I'll be shacking up with when the plane crashes and I wash up on an island and the blog becomes an episode of Lost. Forget the fact that we're not flying over water.....

Then seat 9C looks at me and says....
and I quote...

"Emergency exit row. (sizing me up in my oversized Winthrop Sweatshirt and baggy jeans) This could go either way. You sure your strong enough to handle it?"

Now obviously he hasn't seen the Olympic bag I'm carrying, and heard my big fat lie about being a professional athlete.

'I was in the luge bitch sit down.'

But I didn't say that. I just smiled and said....

'I'll just push you aside, and everyone will know which way to run even with all the smoke because you'll be screaming 'Please stop trampling me, I'm sitting in the emergency exit row!'

We didn't talk the rest of the flight.

Well folks I'm headed out from the farm this morning, up to NC for a blood shot detox plane ride back to snowy Colorado. Miss me terribly while I'm gone.

Cabin Fever

So after getting crazy and bringing sexy back in Charlotte, (after Becca's 30th party), I sobered up enough to head up to the NC mountains with the Stevenson family.

(The college crew..Brook, Becca, Fran, Amy, and I. Amazingly enough none of us went to jail.....together)

We did a little hiking.....set out by the campfire...and then partied like rock stars celebrating Neals birthday, then at midnight welcomed in mine.

Turns out we can add Sherpa to the list of jobs I could do... Amy was quite convincing that it could count as my workout for the day. Note* That baby is heavier then she looks*
Now the rest of my birthday is going to be spent checking into the Betty Ford Clinic.
Nah, who am I kidding. I've got a whole bunch of trouble still up my sleeve

Happy 2007 Ya'll

Lazyday.com Party Pic #156186

For those of you that had a peaceful new years and consider yourself 'lame', rest assured, I partied it up enough last night for all of us.

Heather says this morning......'yea, I remember looking around the dance floor and thinking that you must have gone to the bathroom.....then Natalie says...'Nope, there she is dancing on the bar'

Yup. On the bar. In stiletto boots. With three black girls. Dancing like only a white girl with a black woman's soul can.

True Story.