Tiffany just pointed out to me that it was Friday night and I have my nose shoved in an anatomy book. "Studying Anatomy" and not in the wink wink kinda way.
Gather round children:
While visiting Liz I ran out to get something out of the car. I hear a screen door slam, and in looking over my left shoulder see this crazy man .....long grey/black hair frizzed out in a cone shaped white mans afro.....no shirt on, dirty cut off jeans...scratching his big belly with both arms giving out a yawn. Fine specimen. I laugh. He looks over....I quickly look into the jeep trying to remember what I'm looking for as I say quietly (oh my god!).
(he yells in the crazy man rasp voice) Hey! Easter!
Oh my god. What is he yelling...easter? Like the holiday?
Easter! ........(shit I have to look.....oh god he's facing my direction)
EASTER!
Holy crap this guy is crazy
EASTER! GET THE HELL OVER HERE!
Whoa. Wait. Get the hell over what? Where is my dog? Yes, good girl is now standing pinned to my leg like the trusty protector that she is. I look down, she looks up at me with a very distinct 'that guy is crazy , get your shit and lets get out of here! look' her eyes dart back towards him and so do mine..... crazy guy is headed over...he's got an awkward walk, still scratching his skin.
Crap. Abort Jeep mission I repeat abort Jeep mission.
Easter! God Damn dog!
Oh shit.
I gotta do something, where's my mace? He's walking with a mission now crossing the street.
Fumbling in the car, full on panic fight or flight mode I somehow get out...
"Um, this is my dog"
((in my head))....I'm about to mace this guy...I wish I had a stun gun)
He stops dead in his tracks in the middle of the street.
EASTER!
"THIS IS MY DOG."
(that's me. I have new found courage....and the mace)
"WHERED YOU GET THAT DOG?!
(mad as hell like I stole the meth heads dog)
IN SOUTH CAROLINA 10 years ago!
EASTER!
MY DOG!
He turned around, twitched his way back down the street. I run back into Liz and Dannys house. "I almost just maced the crazy crackhead that lives down the street! He thought I stole his dog!" Liz looked at me with an overly confused look.
This crazy shit only happens to me.
Could it be that her name is now
Sativa Maria Cookieface Columbus Pastel La La La EASTER King?
5 comments:
ABSOLUTELY!!!! I am going to look for bunny ears for her today (like her Christmas halo), then the outfit will be complete. I think the universe just figured it's been awhile since her name had been adjusted and she was due for something good...... just like you.
Quick. Dye her pink and green and put some other color splotches on her so if you run into crazy crackhead man again you can say "sorry dude. This isnt' a dog, it's an easter egg."
Amanda....are you there? No blog in a few days. Miss you!
What a heartwarming Easter story...thanks!
Thanks also for the mullet photo-- I live in Germany where the men still think it's the perfect haircut, so I can never get enough!
Thanks for stopping by my blog! You are welcome there any time!
~Nicole
I'm impressed with your site, very nice graphics!
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